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:ralseiblunt: 

political system where there is a baby president and the parties are decided by how the party wishes to assign the baby president a gender. non-party independents don't care and non-binary is like green party. policy wonks hurriedly rush memos and speeches to an infant to whom they plead for cabinet positions by playing "peek-a-boo" and installing malware in the presidential internet of things baby mobile that links to their op-ed pages.

Is it possible, as many Ancient Astronaut Theorists contend, that all the accounts in my timeline are run, in fact, by cuties? :neofox_heart:

lol I forgot the Halo 1 MCC tutorial is literally wrong on PC cause they reused the Xbox prompts so it tells you to press E for reloading *and* action

On Xbox it's X for both, but on PC they were split into the usual keys (R to reload, E to use)

Also seen in the roundup from @violetblue this week:

Allow me to give a big 🤦🤦‍♀️🤦‍♂️🤦‍♀️🤦 and an even bigger 🤡 🤡 🤡 to the people of the Bay Area Anarchist Bookfair who decided to require masks…. ONLY FOR THE FIRST 90 MINUTES of an all day event. What in tarnation was the thought process here?????? How did y’all manage to fuck up this soft toss even more than most normie events do?? The only analogue I’ve seen to this is a business that has one day a week as a mask required day… I think it’s ok to hold a bookfair about liberation to a higher standard than that. Especially because there will presumably be different offerings throughout the day.

I hope someone who’s out there can go and hand out some flyers with other event guidelines, like

“Please do not assume other people’s gender identity or pronouns, except before 2pm”

“Racism, sexism and homophobia will only be tolerated before ten o’clock”

“There is an elevator, however, after Noon we ask all attendees with limited mobility to suck it up and try to use the stairs. Aides will be provided to assist you in crawling up and down.”

:weed: 

I'm saving up for the Dragon Ball Z Blunt Rotation Backpack which is why I won't ever be a homeowner

badly edited food/groceries (nonvegan included), slime 

Remember slime fridge?
Pepperidge farm remembers. :slime:

food 

the spotting a rabbi eating a cheeseburger type joke now is such a nothing burger. rabbi could just be vegan

My bully wife drank an entire cholula bottle in front of me and made me cry

flu vaccine ✅
cannabis ✅

I get kinda drowsy and sick after a shot, but I am going to make a nice cajun seasoned rice and beans dish and feel nice and snug until it goes away.

covid 

something about the pharmacists saying "bless you" to each other and sneezing without masks during a respiratory virus pandemic really screams medieval

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