Pinned toot

brand twitter is first against the wall when the revolution comes

OH NO! CARMEN SANDIEGO HAS STOLEN YOUR vape pen!

due to review score inflation all pieces of media should be scored at 7/10 to ensure objectivity

landlords: im necessary because otherwise you'd have to buy a new dishwasher yourself when it breaks and that's expensive uwu

me: hey landlord my dishwasher doesn't work can you like. replace it. it's older than me

landlord: lol, lmao

born too late to fuck around, but just in time to find out

racemic kansas and arkansas implies the existence of eskansas

spaceposting 

stop calling it the billionaire space race its the billionaire waste race

spaceposting 

just heard the blue origin launch failed its rapid unplanned disassembly i'm gonna need a moment

pol, spaceposting 

obviously im no fan of the ussr but they won the space race by every metric except one

- first artificial satellite
- first person in space
- first spacecraft on the moon
-first spacecraft to escape earth
- first extended human habitation in space
- first spacecraft to land on another planet
- theres a lot more

the point here is twofold: first, any american claims to "winning the space race" are pure nationalism; second, don't let billionaire creeps deceive you into thinking that collectivism and progress are mutually exclusive

american culture, cognitohazard 

just heard someone say "jesus is like a cheeseburger" at ihop

i miss the comfort in being sad
i miss the comfort in being sad
i miss the comfort in being sad

sports, caps, shitpost, im drunk, anglophobia 

me at 12:00 today: eh im not much of a football fan but i guess England's playing or something

me now: ENGLAND IS A DISGRACE TO THE FUCKING SPORT. THEY'RE COWARDLY AND DISHONORABLE. Football is GONE. It's not fucking coming home BECAUSE EVERY TIME IT DOES, THE BRITS DRAG ITS NAME THROUGH THE MUD!

anyways denmark should have won (or at least, not lost to a laser pointer)

honestly I'd rather live somewhere with tall grass and plants and shit. plain old grass lawns in front of your house? fuck no

The American dream is having a lawn you can't afford to take care of because poor people aren't supposed to live in homes apparently.

coronavirus ableism death etc 

disabled people are like, hey we're the ones at risk of dying from the pandemic and the restrictions are the bare minimum precaution keeping our fellow citizens from casually killing us en masse.
and abled people are like, i hear you, and i'm very sorry, however i'm also bored

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Pixietown

Smol server part of the pixie.town infrastructure. Registration is approval-based, and will probably only accept people I know elsewhere or with good motivation.