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@vv eats spoons. nomnomnonnomnom i can still do basically everything but ahaha 5x spoons,, yea

question in the format of a cohost/tumblr ask; apocalypse, elilla&'s roots?, long, reads kinda like a trauma dump but i get to the question eventually after i feel i've established the context. Achtung! may increase doom levels! 

@elilla :blobcat:

hello! you often talk about climate apocalypse and jp,br culture that we haven't been exposed to much, and certainly not as directly.,

i liked your mom's quote you posted but i don't think it works in e.g. my position, i'm 18-very-soon and still w my parents, one of whom sheltered me from the local culture for a while (there's more here…) and it feels pretty representative of surveillance capitalism; we have so many complicit machines that help capitalism continue to run that i don't think we'll have a power restructuring unless it turns out to be a very quick big collapse.

so, with all of that authoritarianism painted, i'd like to now take you to the typical "transfem who's still figuring her shit out" who is probably very dependent on fragile internet infra, perhaps public transport and maybe is socially traumatized (like us)

how does that work out for her? personally i'm gonna be Fine it's been a while and i'm healing from the worst bits... but what about the new girl; what do you see in her future?

@skye aria lfav's [*isomorph.*](lfav.bandcamp.com/album/isomor) is a meow ! i recommend listening in the track order & focusing on every track as it plays,

i think this music is good . i cant find it on the internet anymore . have it .

The Girl Who Leapt Through Time - Kawaranai Mono/変わらないもの (Cover) 【JoyDreamer】

@x4nw that's what 'computer people /derogatory' is about i think. and yea
we've been viewing it on a somewhat-different-but-ultimately-similar abstraction lately:

- there's our industrial-era society backed by late-stage capitalism, cold hard math eventually kills people's values: this is why we have 'productivity' and psych 'mental disorders' (these occur with any rigid enough system, autism is not a bug and serves a purpose in a mindful society. about the same with adhd)

- and there is the new world struggling to be born, or at least the anarchoqueer's version of it; stare at plant for 3h50m, go for walkies, etc

computer touching is a mishmash of both; most of us don't live in nature as we likely would in the post-collapse world, but we're still trying to make this world fit what we want with what we do. look at hackerspaces and ccc events, look at (non-assimilationist) pride protests

its not about limited time for us,
we haven't watched the clock tick by ever since we escaped school (or even work) and took control of our lives and took our shape of gender from them

we are like - a flower blooming - an early trans person putting on their first ${clothing_item}, a kid who has yet to grok the depth of the world we are transitioning to

a hope we still hold onto even when we know climate collapse is so close
a dream that we try to repress until we can't ignore it anymore and we do it anyway
a dream that likely puts us in an AGAB's prison and so on

so we don't do it. but we still daydream when it's not going so well, and it hasn't been going well for a long time

it's okay to dream a little. it's okay to learn from your dreams, it's good to learn from your dreams, it's good to help others, even if it doesn't make sense because 'time is money' — in our dream, time is not money.

time does not move linearly. memories do not record everything in the same depth;

i know every touch in my favorite moments, my first time seeing that yes, there are other queer people and they are real and touchable in the physical realm and struggling and imperfect just like me

- do things you'll remember,
[physically prepare of course, but pausing everything you love to wait for collapse isn't very self-loving.]

- it's not fair to present-you to not enjoy themselves just so future-you [maybe] can.

thank u 4 reading <3

@artemis it sounds so clean???? holy shit. i cant hear any artifacts on the vylet vox . its so good?? good job friends

added :blobcatuwu: (from 0w0.is)​ to pixietown :3 :blobcatuwu:​ 👁️

@neauoire @easrng it's all printable characters if you `cat` it :3 nice work easrng

@efi f11 begins to stetch, f12 is maxed out ish

long, re: gender 

@annieversary yea for me there's def A Role that i def am Playing and i am way more comfortable playing it in our accursed cisnormative system.

but i also have an intrinsic gender thing. i dont know where it came from, but its just there. just like hardcoded in. but it's like, a theoretical and minimal set of properties, whereas my imposed stricter gender role comes with a lot more Shit and Baggage .

second hand, but there are a lot of agender people who dont have that intrinsic bit, and then even if i was 'NT enough' to connect the intrinsic bit to the social bit i wouldn't be able to do that.

and i don't anyway most of the time, but it is a hint

@jasmin awe i really needed to see this rn. thank you <3

(from the federated feed)

@skye probably. depends how the mouse presents itself, if it's also a keyboard (`lsusb -v | grep -E 'Bus ... Device|bInterfaceProtocol'`) and the extra buttons send keyboard inputs i think it'd be harder .

@skye it's impossible if […] someone's heart.

use the weapon to tear spacetime […], ejecting […] from the story. it is printed so. […] simply not in the story, all previous references have been forgotten, […] been forgotten

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