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I think when someone sitting in a suit at their computer challenges you to a court battle it definitely triggers some kind of smug pokémon boss battle music that fades away as their attention slowly moves on somewhere else

Upset op-ed writers are absolutely divorced-dad core

Firstname Lastname has challenged "Behind 7 Proxies" to a court battle!

Behind 7 Proxies left


next case.

Everything above is written from a UK perspective but lawyers are literally everywhere. There’s probably one behind you right now. Right now! Watch out! Duck! You've been served papers! I tried to warn you!

lmao The Financial Times gave up on running a mastodon instance

We Tried To Run A Social Media Site And It Was Awful


What ties America together is the postal service, which is why we can all relate to mailed pipe bombs and 90s music. The thread that holds the paranoid lot of us lonely settlers together 📫 😍

admin announcement: gnomefield is being sent to the shadow realm. say your goodbyes. oh no! someone has thrown a machine gun on a sandbagged-tripod into the Toyota truck! Who could have foreseen this?

Hey what's up y'all we're just checking in from you better not be shitposting on the fediblock hashtag (we are checking)

we have some seriously stinky reports in the queue rn. deploreable.

re: pinned boundaries post less than a minute ago 

split. ⏲️

in the southern hemisphere the circle-A is upside-down and if you are at the equator is gets all woobly, which is why you need special circle-As just for places like the congo or new zealand

re: new pinned boundaries post, read before following even if you "know" me 

this is a long-winded way of saying. following me means I think of you like a friend, so treat me like a friend and don't just ignore my boundaries. geez.

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new pinned boundaries post, read before following even if you "know" me 

hello. please check all disqordia mutuals and whatever else at the door, migrate your kolektiva account to somewhere less shittily moderated, and fasten your seatbelts. read my bio , don't vibe with my politics? please do not follow. I will be checking. Anyone mutuals with them so far has been soft-blocked until you fix your racist friends issue. I will be checking. Don't waste your time in my follow requests for nothing, I can smell it on you. Get your shit together first, seriously.

here are politics I do not vibe with:

  • politics
  • :tankies:
  • 💸 (so-called "market anarchists" or libs)
  • nationalism (grow up from wounded fairy tales)
  • new age spiritualism / new athiesm
  • divorced dad-ism (move on)
  • missionaries / evangelists
  • white vegan health cults (you are racist)
  • Britishism
  • paranoid, insecure settler
  • journalist (derogatory)
  • your entire personality is being an "____ parent"
  • hippies
  • CIS military apologetica
  • cisgender apologetica
  • fascism
  • stallmanism, OSI and FSF techbro cults
  • cable television commentary (I cut the cable for a reason)
  • go to the polls! electoralism religious adherent
  • resource scarcity-FUD hyper for eco fascists
  • primitivism (if you are anti-literacy why are you even logged in lmao go eat berries)
  • obviously anything antisemitic or transphobic
  • pollsters, quizzers, and petitioners
  • anti-piracy (MPAA's hiring, fuckface)
  • legal justice system believer (lol, lmao)
  • Firstname Lastname LinkedIn
  • The person reading this who thinks you can override my boundaries because you are a privileged fuck who has learned to treat others people's priorities as dismissible "requests"
  • racist queer people
  • channers
  • hippies (again)
  • Broccoli Haters
  • Meritocracy or Technocracy people
  • :acab:​ (no feds, cops, enlisted people)

if you see yourself here do not follow. if I cannot tell, I won't let you follow. give me something to work with in a dm if you prefer a sparse bio, at least. I don't know you, or owe you shit (debt is bullshit).

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