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I feel like I am getting closer to solving web browsing. I need VC funding and an AI assistant robot that is actually just a buggy LSD microdose dispenser. Whoops that dose was a little macro ok lets launch the product I'm calling it "Shit-tero" it is the AI powered toilet that massages your colon with massive hydraulic arms.

The problem with web browsers is that they aren't trying to launch other applications on my desktop often enough. Now with FuckBrowser by FuckCorp your web browser will open a random link on each webpage with a random application on your desktop every time you load a page.

The problem with web browsers is that I don't feel the scrolling like I do on a classical text scroll. The scroll wheel doesn't capture the feeling of worriedly and gently shifting extremely fragile stitched papyrus sheets between wooden rods.

Welcome to the bookmarks globe feature. It will populate the earth with your browser bookmarks, placing them along key "ley lines". By leveraging AI and sacred geometry, you will download a higher dimensional energy when you login to Facebook.

Spoon browser (not a fork)

(is still a fork)

You know what? You've been bad. The next time you update your shit corpo chrome fork browser the tab bar is gonna go to the bottom and populate from right to left and do your AI horoscope. This is what you get.

But don't worry! The Gloorp browser by FuckSoft is here! Your tab bar is now diagonal and the browser viewport shows a different webpage on either side of the window-dividing crypto bro AI toolbar. There is even support for 4-dimensional mousewheel scrolling. Throw out your current setup, Silicon Valley is calling it "the new browser" and "definitely not the same thing, but just gimmicked and buggier". It even features "password buddy", a digital ape who manages your logins on the blockchain.

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Gabe Newell has announced a Firefox fork and people are calling it "the future of browsing". You see, browser games now have VAC-bans if you cheat. Also you get weird US Libertarian party type guy targeted ads instead of normal targeted ads.

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my current picks are:

Firefox : Librewolf
Chrome : Cromite

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Plural system wild and raucous internal debate over which reskinned browser forks to use.

What I won't understand is switching from one corpo bullshit browser fork to another. Brave, Vivaldi, etc. What's the appeal of adding more bullshit instead of removing it? You can add anything worthwhile back via extensions to a less bloated setup.

I think browsers are flipping shit generally because they really ought not to do anything more, but corpo bullshit forever-growth demands forever more than what's reasonably needed and pertinent to an actual web browser. The basics have been nailed down by all major parties a few years ago and everybody with shareholders or VC funding is in a panic looking for more.

Burnt offerings still work in modern day, but only if you enable the bathroom fan.

Please present a burnt offering at the sacrificial alter, or select another option to sign up.

my current picks are:

Firefox : Librewolf
Chrome : Cromite

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Plural system wild and raucous internal debate over which reskinned browser forks to use.

Hello. Yes. This thing on? Ok.

Just so you know. To make sure we're all on the same page. You don't have to engage with the never-ending car wreck of blood politics. Not even in spite or as a joke.

Okay. That's the short version. The long version is reading a book, so I'll just link to somebody more qualified on the topic like Gil Anidjar: cup.columbia.edu/book/blood/97

went to a store yesterday and all i want for christmas is you started playing and i saw a clerk's face drop into the most exhausting glare you could ever see. it was a like a goya painting

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