Gordon Freeman 🖲️ @theonefreeman@pixie.town

I'm wanna cuddle but that's illegal

brain machine broke

"I leave soap in my foreskin and let it soak like dishes to get the smell and buildup out"

@goat@hellsite.site mlem

whenever I fav a toot, just imagine me sticking one of those little gold star stickers on your hand

if you think 9/11 made the world more cyberpunk, wait until you see covid-19

it'll be like 9/11, times ten

90/110

First strawberry flower! Also, mints are happy.

This strawberry started as a bird-planted seedling that I dug out of one of my former landlord's garden beds last year, because it was going to be weeded out otherwise. It's suffered in a yogurt container with no drainage for a year and has finally earned itself a larger pot.

#Florespondence #Gardening

the internet: does a straw have one hole, or two? 🤔🤔🤔
topologists: i have waited my entire fucking life for this moment

I hate how they tried to rename the ASS subtitle standard to SSA. It's ass backwards if you ask me.

in switzerland you aren't allowed to have a train with exactly 256 axles because of an integer overflow in the axle counting machine

i wish i could fix my software bugs by making it illegal to cause them

No I'm not sorry about all the Ziggy spam because look at this face!!!

todays dslr pic: figured out the perfect sun angle to make the watchface relief pop out

Instead of master/slave terminology why don't we just do dom/sub?

(sorry not sorry for leaving this cursed thought on your timeline)

steppy

more quoll

what does “im pupy” mean is that like gamer speak

#clit and ball torture

not to get mad horny or anything but holyshit foreskin play is a heart racer

sorry boss, no i didn't do uhh anything today. well you see, a federated network of queer communists collectively accused me of not having a ass