every single one of us in trans fedi is traumatized by our experiences of having every moment of our lives turned into a battle for our own existence, and the way that collective trauma plays out within our queer communities is an age-old story, one that our elders solved during the AIDS crisis and we need to learn from.
there is so much more we can all be doing for each other to help ourselves and each other thrive and to help our community thrive. every single one of you needs to read this treatise by the Jane Addams Collective.
https://theanarchistlibrary.org/library/the-jane-addams-collective-mutual-aid-trauma-and-resiliency
Masking, camouflaging, hyperverbality, social, ableism/saneism/kyriarchy processing, ++
We managed to unmask right down to the verbality filter a few days ago and thought about the violence of language again.
Emotionally realized that making sense (sinn ergeben-surrendering sense in german) rather than being or becoming sense is a traumaresponse to ways of cognition and socialization that we are constantly expected to perform rather than being allowed or encouraged to be as we are.
so we will allow ourselves to make less sense in the future, maybe lowering the demand avoidance response we have towards communication in many settings.
i continue to be frustrated by germans calling themselves feminists
@SehrLesbisch
also weakness as moral failure is... not fun.
cw's and stuff??
@phseiff
seems like just a need for connection and distraction to us and that is fine to need. We are social animals.
meds... but not, own experience with this in case you& want to hear?
@daughterofrao@weirder.earth
yeah new trauma and retraumatization can mess things up internally quite severely... we just came out of a four year depersonalization/fawn/freeze state four weeks ago (almost exactly) and have to reorganize and get to know ourselves/each other again too. We wish you& a lot of rain, sunlight and storm to keep the fog at bay when it's not the right time for it.
may the stream of consciousness nourish the fauna too.
children seem to often wish others what they want themselves if they care.
meds... but not, own experience with this in case you& want to hear?
@daughterofrao@weirder.earth
wow you& seem... organized/structured(?) in practical ways. That's very useful it seems. We don't always know where the trauma begins and ends in comparison to regular memories, so that could be why? We are a forest with a very new digital to mycelium-root access point if you can deal with layered metaphors.
meds... but not, own experience with this in case you& want to hear?
@daughterofrao@weirder.earth
we get anxiety because we are more open to perception and some of us get triggered very easily like that probably, and heartrate shenanigans probably too. it's a bit of a mess inside. Not all of us present with meds usually either, but many. Or like.. their skills and some memories? Not their feelings for the most part.
just thought we would share in case info is helpful for yous. Didn't wanna make this about us. Sorry. :/
Olympic games, transphobia
Oh, dear. Here we go.
I get it, a woman boxer from Algeria gets smeared as being trans. That her elevated testosterone gives her an advantage. You know what really pisses me off when I see people rushing to her defense, even from within trans circles? That it's "she isn't even trans! See how anti trans sentiment hurts even cis women!"
It wouldn't even matter if she was. It wouldn't matter if pure testosterone dropped from her ears. It wouldn't matter if that gave her an advantage.
Why? Because this isn't the Kid's Participation Trophy League where everybody ends up on the podium at the end of the day. This is the Olympic Games, where top athletes compete. They are meant to be the most extraordinary athletes of each country.
Remember Phelps, who is genetically uniquely suited to be a swimmer, and had several proven biological advantages over his competitors? Did we give a shit? No, he was even hailed as extraordinary athlete for it.
Basketball players aren't disqualified for being taller than average, they are picked for it. In every discipline, the athletes with a biological advantage for it are encouraged, selected, specifically promoted to build on that.
Except women. Except if your melanin makes you different than ham pink. Except if in your past what a doctor jotted down at a glance didn't align with who you are.
This is the Olympic Games, not the Average Everyone Games. So flattening the defense of an Algerian boxer to "but she isn't trans" really sits badly with me, because what you're telling me is, being successful while trans needs further justification. That you see a trans person as lesser than a cis person, and being cis means you're beyond suspicion while being trans carries a burden of proof. You're telling me that you see us as being different from what we say we are - a man in a dress, a lesbian playing at being a man, someone who needs to pick a side already.
fiction, fantasy wedding, alcohol
Human weddings have a Best Man, but goblin weddings have a Worst Man. The idea is that even an uncouth trash-heap of a man is going to seem like a catch if he is standing next to someone even worse.
If the bridegrooms family really want the wedding to happen they will appoint their most disagreeable relative, provide him with all the intoxicants he could ever want and then some, and have him show up to the wedding drunk off his ass and smelling of turpentine.
It is considered an honor to have a Worst Man show up at your wedding, and families have been known to get offended by his absence. This doesn't mean that the Worst Man himself is a welcome presence as goblins have been known to get a bit too into their role for the sake of realism.
After the traditional speech in which the Worst Man is expected to make a pass at the bride, facetiously extolling his virtues compared to the groom he is generally expected to fade into the background, cause a scene or two to keep the party lively and then leave quietly after he's had his fill of the buffet. If his antics start wearing thin, the goblin children may be tasked to drive the Worst Man away with sticks, stones and the occasional knife.
As goblin society has grown more progressive, there's increasingly been occurrences of a Worst Lady being invited alongside or instead of a Worst Man (though having both at the same wedding is not recommended by most goblin wedding guides as they've been known to get competitive and/or romantically involved and either of those outcomes may prove disastrous for a wedding).
At lesbian ceremonies, both brides may opt to recruit a Worst Lady from their friend-group if their respective families refuse to provide one. Being appointed a Worst Lady by your friend is seldom flattering but usually taken in good spirit. There is a saying in goblin culture that lesbian weddings are two for the price of one, considering how often the Worst Ladies will opt to marry each other in a bonus ceremony.
Calling all trans and nonbinary writers writing trans and nonbinary characters, please add your books to this database so readers can find your stories more easily!
saltyness @ the term "flinta"
holy shit!!!!! a paper on autistic burnout!!!!! among other things demonstrating that it's a real phenomenon and not the same as depression or job burnout
kink, consent
Try to confirm consent two different ways with new partners or new acts.
Try to make it easy for your partners to say no to you.
Try to make it clear to your partners what a yes looks like to you.
Try to identify ways your partner may feel pressured or coerced and check in about them.
When something makes you feel uncomfortable or you want to stop, say so as clearly as possible.
Don't try to get consent through some sort of loophole or trick.
⚠️ updated crowdfunding PSA ⚠️
FUN FACT: you can post your #MutualAid requests in the #Mastodon4Harris hashtag (they moved, note the number 4 isntead of "for") to make sure they'll be seen by people who, apparently, have ludicrous oodles of money to burn. also it's praxis
boosts appreciated
Gender Euphoria Funpost, +, fire mention, combat mention
We are gender defiant.
My gender is demand avoidance, screw everyone who ever tried to gender us or who or what we are or what we do unless we do it for euphoria.
Euphoria is the act of defeating imposed or internalized gender in combat and warming our bodies in the flames of annihilation.
posts about feelings sometimes
gender egoist
anti-essentialist
anarchist weirdo
neuroqueer
is an identity crisis
healthn't
many
please tell me things directly instead of passively if possible