re: ADHD advice, overcoming executive dysfunction
@joepie91 You actually put into words what I've been doing and moving towards for a while.
Another tip I have: make things simple for you.
To keep in line with the kitchen example: I don't use most of my dishes. It's far easier to clean one bowl or one plate than it is to clean 5 of them. All of my dishes fit into the sink, so they can just soak there if I'm out of spoons. (I don't have a dishwasher)
Also one thing that was surprisingly effective: Removing the doors from kitchen cabinets.
ADHD advice, overcoming executive dysfunction
(I'm writing this as someone who has partially overcome executive functioning problems.)
If you have ADHD, you're going to encounter a lot of (social) expectations and obligations, likely so many that you'll get overwhelmed and eventually decide "fuck it all".
But an important skill to learn is to distinguish the *necessary* from the *unnecessary* obligations, and spend your spoons accordingly.
Most of the obligations that are placed on you by mainly neurotypical folks, can be safely ignored. You don't *need* to go to parties or get-togethers. You don't *need* to attend family events. You don't *need* to get a 9-to-5 job. And so on.
But for every obligation, you should ask yourself: "does ignoring this obligation have concrete, negative consequences for my ability to function and live my life?"
For example, sleep schedule is typically an important one; it doesn't need to be a standard sleep schedule, but it *does* need to have enough overlap with opening times of stores, government organizations etc. to live your life - so you need to put in the effort of finding a workable schedule *and keeping yourself to it*.
Likewise, keeping food preparation areas clean is a big one; if you're neurospicy, you probably have difficulty eating in time, and so it is important to remove any barriers that would keep you from doing so (like a dirty kitchen). So you need to invest the spoons in making yourself do the cleaning after use.
And so on, and so forth. Identify the things that are actually necessary for you to function, and spend your spoons on those first to build up a baseline of executive functioning, even when it sucks, even when you don't want to. Drop the obligations you have no use for, even if people complain.
But take the *actually necessary* obligations seriously, and don't skip out on them or let yourself find excuses to delay them.
software licensing meta
If you're going to argue that the concept of "open-source" should introduce ethical constraints - which I *morally* can agree with - then you also need to be able to find a universal definition of "ethical" that sufficiently many people can agree with.
And when I say "need", I mean that this is a hard requirement to make the concept work legally, which is what open-source licenses are (unfortunately) exclusively about.
You can't just pick a particular set of ethics that *you* like and argue that that's what "open-source" should mean. I mean, you can, but there's approximately zero chance of that working out in practice and catching on, because there's always going to be *something* that others disagree with.
If all this sounds infeasible to resolve, consider that perhaps a software license is not the ideal place for ethical constraints...
Questions to ask yourself before replying
* Am I just being contrarian?
* Do I already have a relationship with this person, or am I being inappropriately familiar?
* Am I "ironically" doing exactly what this person just said not to do?
* Am I derailing another legitimate discussion in order to get on my own favourite hobby-horse or to one-up this person in my knowledge of social issues?
* Am I saying "Are you surprised?" when they're disappointed?
* Am I providing unsolicited advice?
One thing I would really like to erase from culture (especially tech culture) is how people who get frustrated lash out at the tools that they are using and, through the area of effect, the people making and maintaining those tools, instead of learning to deal with emotions of frustration in a healthy manner.
I am in a new Iveco by Heuliez electric bus:
Pro:
* Best placement of USB-A and USB-C ports I’ve even seen in a bus, in the rear of the back seat including a stand to watch a video on your phone 🤯
* So much legroom
* No bleeping!
* Good build quality, although I hear something rambling already.
Con:
* Seats are a bit hard, and the actual seat feels short under the legs
* USB ports at wheel chair area very awkwardly located.
* Large non-see through lettering over the windows.
* Stop buzzer very loud and annoying.
Cannot rate the information system, it crashed.
furry fandom and age discourse, ageism, queerphobia and family abuse
maybe we should encourage our youngins to look out for each other and help them to grow to be individuals who can resist and fight against those who want to hurt them, unchain themselves from the oppressive mindsets of the queerphobic, racist, sexist, ableist state.
and provide them safety if they can't.
i said what i said. block me and see if i care.
9/9
furry fandom and age discourse, ageism, queerphobia and family abuse
i understand that a lot of the aspects of furry culture are inherently tied to NSFW stuff,
but i swear to fucking god
you are living in your own neat white middle class european/american bubble if you think i had any place i could turn to
there was nothing for me. nada. zero. just because you anglophonics have safety nets provided by society we don't. we poors, third world nation dwellers are fucked in the ass.
5/
furry fandom and age discourse, ageism
i am sorry but i saw an absolute rancid take about how furry fandom is the "adults only community, was always intended for adults, and if you are a kid, you have no place here"
look, it's perfectly fine to say you don't want to interact with minors cuz you want to freely post or talk about NSFW stuff. but to say that fandom *as a whole* must not allow kids in it is such a fucking privileged american take i don't even know what to say.
thread, mfs.
1/
Found the most Plush City post sitting over on Bluesky.
https://bsky.app/profile/shubbabang.bsky.social/post/3ld2ja4uulc2u
This festive season, if you meet relatives, maybe DO discuss politics. Make that fascist uncle uncomfortable. Make them want to leave if need be. Fuck the pretend-peace.
Please take care of yourselves first and foremost! If you don’t feel safe, stay away. But if you can, go ahead and discuss. Maybe you’ll make a difference. Maybe you’ll find out how far they’re gone.
"We should ban kids from the Internet until they turn 18"
I had a hard enough time finding people like me even with the Internet. Finding anyone locally who was anything like me was impossible.
The idea that people want to actively cut people away from their support networks, to isolate them from others, and banish the youth to a primitive 20th century lifestyle? That's fucking bullshit.
What next, do you also propose that kids only be allowed to speak to their parents, no one else?
Is there software somewhere to help train yourself to remember your passwords? Like a quizz. The software doesn't have to know your password, just a strong hash to tell you if you got it right or not, it's not meant to correct mistakes only to practice typing the passwords so you don't forget.
Is this a security concern to have and use such software? Better solutions?
I'd need that for passwords I seldom use but are very important.
Technical debt collector and general hype-hater. Early 30s, non-binary, ND, poly, relationship anarchist, generally queer.
Sometimes horny on main (behind CW), very much into kink (bondage, freeuse, CNC, and other stuff), and believe it or not, very much a submissive bottom :p
Feel free to flirt, but if you want to actually meet up and/or do something with me, lewd or otherwise, please tell me explicitly or I won't realize :) I'm generally very open to that sort of thing!
Further boundaries: boosts are OK (including for lewd posts), DMs are open. But the devil doesn't need an advocate; I'm not interested in combative arguing in my mentions. I am however happy to explain things in-depth when asked non-combatively.
My spoons are limited, so I may not always have the energy to respond to messages.
Strong views about abolishing oppression, hierarchy, agency, and self-governance - but I also trust people by default and give them room to grow, unless they give me reason not to. That all also applies to technology and how it's built.