Sven Slootweg (soft-deprecated) @joepie91@pixie.town

@naln1 Yeah, my impression is that that's the safest bet for now. Hen/hun definitely seems to be more preferred as specified non-binary pronouns, but I've never really encountered anyone either offended *or* confused by my use of 'die' as a default neutral pronoun - even if others don't really use it.

@naln1 It's a shitshow, basically. There's hen/hun that some people use, but that a lot of other people have trouble with (somehow singular use of conventionally plural pronouns doesn't quite 'feel' right in Dutch). There's also 'die', for which there's some arguments: https://langzaldieleven.nl/ -- but it doesn't seem to be very widely adopted among queer folks at least.

Personally, I tend to use 'die' unless otherwise specified, but honestly none of the options are great... (and that's not even going into crap like gendered job description names :/)

A really important thing to understand about bigotry, how a community responds to it, and why they're not spotting the bad vibes that are obvious to you:

The vast, vast majority of people do not actually *understand* bigotry, as a mechanic. They've been taught about "discrimination" as a list of things you cannot say or do, and a list of groups/people to whom you cannot say or do them. The 'protected class' thing, basically.

Nobody has ever really taught them how bigotry *works*, what its consequences are, or how it is experienced by the targets on the other end. They themselves, even with the best intentions, don't actually understand it - they are just following a vague ruleset given to them, because somebody told them to.

(This is likely where the "I can't say anything anymore!" thing comes from, especially in centrist circles. It's frustration that the full ruleset is not known to them, and it feels to them like it is expanding outside of their view.)

That means that they literally *cannot* recognize any form of bigotry that isn't on their 'list'. They don't know about the patterns of behaviour or the social dynamics at all.

They simply don't recognize it when patterns of bigotry are applied towards groups not on their list - say, furries, or users of a particular programming language. They only have the list, it's not on there, therefore it can't be bigotry or discrimination! Even if the consequences are the same in practice.

This can only be fixed by actually teaching people how bigotry *works*, and talking about real-world consequences, including the indirect ones, and how things got to that point, and showing that it is generically applicable - it's the *behaviour and attitude* that matters, not the specific words.

Real-world examples help a lot here, especially for the cases where the cause and effect are a few steps removed from each other, because most people *also* aren't used to thinking about second-order effects.

@hexa@chaos.social I'm surprised they seem to be so obscure still, it's really good!

@kescher Aha, I believe that is the singular person I have ever had to block on Mastodon because they responded extremely aggressively to my (private!) request not to perpetuate a harmful stereotype + an explanation of the background why

This is amazing. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z0_aiTFZ46o

@molly0xfff@mastodon.social Is there a link?

As I've been taking Ritalin (generics) for a while now, I've noticed my preference changing a bit - I now like to slightly "underdose" it, and then spike it up a bit with an occasional cup of tea.

This gives me a bit more of an 'ebb and flow' in my mental state, where I don't *constantly* feel one way or the other, but it can fluctuate a bit between 'relaxed focus' and 'slightly chaotic excitement'.

Really seems to help in continuing to feel like myself with eg. excitement for my own projects, while also giving some much-needed rest from a constantly-chaotic brain... while still mostly preventing brain fog!

@davidak@chaos.social Unsure about the name, but it's generally caused by ill-informed hover rules that physically reposition hovered elements, leading to a loop of "hovering" -> "no longer hovering" -> "hovering" -> etc.

Can be prevented by ensuring that the hover state bounding box is always a superset of the normal state bounding box, ie. there are no points on the screen where your cursor 'hits' the bounding box in non-hover state but *doesn't* hit it in hover state.

In cases where a hover effect *must* reposition elements (usually a bad idea for UX reasons), this is often achieved by some combination of padding, background color trickery, and/or a wrapper element that the hover state and interaction handlers are actually defined on (instead of the element itself) - the objective being to 'invisibly' expand that bounding box in the hover state, so that it fully encompasses the non-hover bounding box.

And that makes it all the more irritating when you're one of the few people who *has* actually looked into it, because you end up spending all your time and energy arguing with what essentially boils down to religious beliefs strongly held

Like, the vast vast majority of developers is basically just going off vibes and whatever assumptions/beliefs are considered the social default for their particular programming community, almost nobody has actually looked at what's going on or why

Even if only half the people loudly complaining about software performance and efficiency actually did the work of "understanding where the performance issues come from", things would be so much better right now