Elfi @elfi@pixie.town

I need to remember that I have no shortage of books to read when sleep doesn't come easily to me

It won't help or anything, quite the opposite in that it lights my imagination on fire, but it's more productive than flipping between Mastodon, IRC, and discord

Had a rare non-anxiety dream last night. Was playing an online physics-based racer where the meta much ceased to be about cars the moment someone figured out how to get stable flight

Made a biplane with like a dozen micro-wing "blinds" to handle lift and angle of attack

There was also an RPG someone was playing where a major plotpoint "corrupted" the game, running the gamut of texture bugs, VRAM corruption, and fake kernel panics, even if you stopped and went to the title screen for that session

Today is a self-care day but I am feeling frustrated and wanna try and debug my code aaaa

Good morning!

I waaant

Lämp

@D6016 https://www.etsy.com/listing/880195878/lgbtq-pride-wolves-cute-wooden-wolf-pins pride puppies!

aaaaaaaaaaaaaa GRS montreal got back to me asking when would be a good time to call and review my info aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

excited but also REALLY REALLY ANXIOUS

I now know the name of my stand

sheer nap attack

*flop zzz*

How's this morning going? Well, I drank my first cup of coffee while waiting for breakfast to cook, and then I performed one of my blunders by forgetting to add milk to the second one and burning my tongue on the fresh, undiluted brew

So the latter half of my day got fucked over by an innocuous thought turning into a spiral of wanting a child, lamenting that I couldn't have a child, and intrusive thoughts about why I shouldn't have a child

It still hurts even now, but the ache is lessened by all the support my loved ones have given me, and the reminder that were I to have a chance to raise a child, I wouldn't be doing it alone