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Overheard, nsfw-ish 

"Yep. That's :garfield: and Odie making love."

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Overheard, nsfw-ish 

"Is that :garfield: and Odie making love??"

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Overheard 

"It's just an inherent property of :garfield: "

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Shitpost 

Discourse this, Discourse that, how about you Discourse some bitches instead??

comic mischief 

*ties your shoes together and kicks you in the shin*

wishing mundane accidents on public figures because that way, the NSA can't track it back to me when I use my trans electric priestess powers to call down holy lightning and turn Andy Jassy (Amazon CEO) into a crisp pile of human charcoal

#pissing on the Local timeline, I've been holding these posts all day

hello yes, I have made the long journey to the new website, could you please help me down from my litter and prepare my posting throne? I will be expecting a captive audience of 40,000 shortly. chop chop.

Honestly just want a dominant woman to grab me and say "Hey I wanna try something," and just not elaborate. Like am I gonna be destroyed? Is she going to throw me an outfit? Will I be loved and cherished? Idk but the uncertainty would be amaaaaaziiiing!

💗 A girl just meowed in my ear and called it "meow damage" I'm so distraught rn

pol, shitpost, nsfw 

"You say this country is free, but when I jack off in a polling booth it's public indecency!" - Dennis Prager

Violence @ reader 

*hits you across the face with a 9 iron*

Ah right, the nutritious value of the american dollar.

brand twitter is first against the wall when the revolution comes

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