Maya Kлenger and Suvi!!! @maya_silver_fox@pixie.town

Am I the only one who can’t tell which scars come from self-harm, which come from my cat using me as a living scratching toy, and which come from obsessively trying to shave every hair on my body with a really bad razor?

Me, graduating top of my class in statistics and stochastics: I’m going to write an algorithm which can predict everything in the next 100 years
Me, at work: smashes random barely working models into existence, until I am very tired and choose whatever is “good enough” in my opinion

Aaaaaa, this meme is so true about non-human (and sometimes human) depictions in media, especially art and cartoons. Like can you just not do that?

Btw about cat pics, while I am away, Emma stays with my friends and destroys all toys they give her

meow
I don’t know what to do in the hospital so I took a selfie. Also I am lonely so I harass people in chats sometimes with memes, cute stuff and cat pics. Asked the doctors to stop giving me that much sleeping meds, because at this point I am literally hibernating. I want to meet people and do some activiiiiiiiissssssmmmmmm

I don’t know what they give me every night for sleeping medicine, but it makes me sleep like 18-20 hours a day. I had insomnia before being admitted, but this is an overkill

After some sleeping though, I returned to my previous insectophobic self. But I think this is still a very serious breakthrough. I need to explore myself more.

Yesterday however, with some help, I fully immersed myself with an idea that I am an insect queen. Like went into totally different state of mind. This felt extremely weird, but instead of trembling and having extreme anxiety I actually spent hours admiring locusts, butterflies, bugs, mantises, bees, wasps and other insects; watched some videos on how insects actually work. This was very weird but also very satisfying.

I felt familiarity and connection to the insect world. Something I could never feel outside this state of mind, being rather extremely phobic.

To cope with this I sometimes imagined myself as an insect queen - the locusts chose me rather than just swarmed. Also recently I decided to try to create an insectoid character for a tabletop RPG I plan to play. This helped me a bit, but not fully.

yesterday was a serious breakthrough with my insectophobia

a bit of background:
When I was a kid I used to travel around Crimea steppes with my parents. During one of our stops we were unlucky to encounter a locust swarm. This was especially shocking for me, since I was like 5 or 6 at that time and I was entirely covered by locusts, they crawled in my pockets, under my shirt, under my pants, in my hair, in my eyes, around my mouth and this continued for ah hour. Even after my parents cleared me of locusts they still were present everywhere.
This changed me in a way, I began to be incredibly afraid of any insect, including butterflies and ants. Images too were enough to drive me to near-panic state.

Spent the last two days desperately trying to figure out how the hospital’s cafeteria coffee pot works, because it had a big red button on the lid. But all I had to do is to turn the lid clockwise, instead of trying to invent creative ways to press a button which has no function. I would really like to see whoever designed this pot.

as per my tradition I gotta shamelessly advertise my cat at least once in spaces I'm in

meet the best roommate you could've ever ask for and my partner in crimes Emma

hello Mastodon (again) and hello Pixietown folx ^^
Looking forward to read and meet all the amazing people out there :D