The term "non-binary" means someone who doesn't fit comfortably into the "definitely male" or "definitely female" categories (frequently referred to as binary genders, since there are only two).
None of these terms indicate how you should address a person (though frequently they hint strongly). A trans woman can use they/them pronouns while sporting a beard, a non-binary person can use he/him pronouns in a frilly dress with obviously "female" body characteristics.
Hacky folks, please resist finding ways to scrape the fediverse, build archives, automate tools and connect to people via bot without their consent.
Just resist the urge. Because you're not going to think to check for robots.txt, but you ought to, that's how we communicate we don't want to be involved. You're probably not going to bother to read the various terms of service for the instances you touch, many of which explicitly ask you not to do any scraping or automated activity beyond normal use of the service. You're not going to know to respect people using the NoBot hashtag that was meant to prevent automated follows. You're certainly not going to parse user profiles and pinned posts to learn how people like to be approached, what will get you blocked, or even think to heavily throttle your activity because instances are falling over in response to load.
Whatever your thing is, make it 100% opt-in. Make it appropriate for a significantly more at-risk user than you are. Make sure it forgets things, purges info about servers it can't contact, can't operate in any sort of logged-in mode where consent is an issue.
We will straight up help advertise your cool thing if it respects users properly and takes the time to consider the safety and preferences of every person involved. There are a lot of fun, thoughtfully-designed toys! And there are a lot of people really tired of having to come and tell you off when you wanted to help, honestly. Help yourself and ask around before you flip on your cool new thing, let folks point out what you're missing.
oh no the anarchists have set up shop in the park. and they're feeding people. for free. this is criminal.
trans hrt, diy, question,
Does anyone have any good resources on transfeminine diy hrtthat they are willing to share?
i'm especially interested in resources for amab enbies who want general feminization without breast development (e.g. via raloxifene), or those who just want to prevent further masculinization until they can go on hrt, and resources related to how to get your hands on the meds&stuff needed for it (in germany). oh, and just resources about the general stuff (how to find the right dosages, blood tests etc) are also great
(also i guess i could google much of it, but googeling anything trans related is very emotionally taxing to me due to some of the search results it yields and adhd and stuff, so i could really use some starting points)
links or any other form of replies ok, including via DM if you don't feel like sharing resources in the open, oh and boosts are much appreciated i guess
You are more than your past.
Nonbinary people (like most queer and lgbtq people) often feel like they need to find evidence in the past to prove that who they are now is real. Sometimes proof can be hard to find.
But, the only proof anyone should need is the fact that you're here at this moment saying "this is me."
You will always have time to make something new.
Confessions of a bad immigrant
I think nobody will dispute it that, if you want to immigrate to another country, you should make an effort to be considerate of the local culture and sensibilities. It's a bit like a relationship: know what you're getting into before committing, be willing to respect their limits.
"Consideration" is such a slippery notion tho. I've been told to not gay kiss or poly kiss because it made people uncomfortable, it's a family environment, think of their feelings. I've seen Japanese homosexual ppl say they had to marry for procreation, for to do otherwise would be a tremendous lack of consideration to their parents, to whose tirelessl hard work they owe their bodies. I've been told not to wear makeup to work, because I had to be professional and respect German cultural norms. By a non-German. No German ever seemed bothered by early transition me wearing concealer, but somehow "being considerate of the local culture" seems to translate so easily to "don't make me uncomfortable by flaunting queerness".
In some countries, everyday cooking is full of spices, with a rich, appetising scent. When they immigrate, some locals will complain of that terrible greasy smell that gets everywhere. Maybe they'll refuse rent to ppl from those countries. In the country of origin the smell get everywhere too, but there it was just a fact of life, nobody paid any mind, nobody blamed their neighbours for it. In the host country, it's inconsiderate.
I imagine what it feels to those immigrants. Either resign yourself to eating what must feel like the most boring, cardboard nothing food every meal, day at day. Or fail to prove that you deserve to live in the rich country. Taint the reputation of all your countrypeople. Fail to show that you assimilated, get booted right back into whatever terrible conditions you were fleeing from. ("If it's so terrible there you can get by without the spices". Yes you can. But should you have to choose?)
I'm being roundabout, even here, afraid of being one of the bad ones. I'm lying, I don't have to imagine how they feel, I know. You _will_ be assimilated. When the choice is deportation or assimilation, well, resistance is futile.
But what really gets to me, what really gets to me, is not being allowed to express sadness about it. The taboo on criticising host country. "If you complain so much why do you want to live here."
I want to live here, and I want to complain so much, complain about things that make me sad about living here. Germany will be fine. I'm not going to change anything, I don't hold any power in our relationship, I have to be a model citizen or else. But I will grant myself the right to vent to the void how I really feel.
It's past 1am and I am crying, a lot. I'm crying about things that most Germans won't empathise with, things they'd frown upon on their neighbours. Things related to overwhelmingly negative opinions about third-world, non-EU immigrants in polls, looming under outwardly liberal attitudes and a generally respectful treatment. (Usually Most of the time.)
Hell, I want to cry about things that many Brazilians will see as our flaws and not empathise with, at least the upper classes, at least those who haven't spent a few years in the cold lands. I look at my poor, dirty, violent country, and I miss not a curated reel of the best parts, I miss the people, with all their very real issues.
I miss not being able to sleep at 2am, every week, because middle-aged ppl are singing painful love ballads on booze and an acoustic guitar in the specialty bar in front of my rented room. I'm not being facetious, I really miss it. Having my healthy sleep patterns disturbed by them made me smile. They were happy. They were _making happiness_ I had to work the next day, I woke worse, work was worse, fuck work, work doesn't matter, this is music, love, happiness, this matters. They understood that.
Music and love and happiness is holy, damn you all.
I miss not being able to sleep at 2am because my neighbours are having a loud party. I miss the knowledge that if I knocked on the door with a smile I'd be taken right in, a perfect stranger, even if I was too shy and dysphoric to act on that knowledge it comforted me.
I miss not being able to sleep at 2am because of the magnificent ppl coming down from the hills, the favelas, blasting downright pornographic earworms right to the face of polite middle-class society, hacked DIY sound systems shaking the security walls with maxxed-out bass. They are so right, polite middle class society is a grinding wheel running on blood, it more than deserves being blasted at 2am with cocks buried to the balls and dripping, all-consuming hungry pussies.
I curse this silence. I miss not being able to sleep at 2am because it's Carnaval and everybody is outside dancing and drinking and fucking one another for the pure, innocent shining reason of a body wanting another body.
And yes, I confess, I miss singing at 2am.
its bandcamp friday!! neat!!!
if you know any sick independent musicians and you have a few pennies to spare, today is the best day to buy music on bandcamp so artists get 100% of the proceeds
if youre a musician or if you have some recs, drop a link 👀
if you like powderpaint maybe grab our EP if you havent already 👉👈
going Extremely elementary school core and putting on a tshirt that says "being mean still kinda sucks actually"
selfie, eye contact, Black Queer and trans joy thread
I want to push back against any anxiety folks may have today and work against the opressive whiteness of the timeline with some folks of black folks, especially queer and/or trans black folks enjoying themselves.
Please expand this thread by contributing to it!
Please help this thread by boosting it.
posts about feelings sometimes
gender egoist
anti-essentialist
anarchist weirdo
neuroqueer
is an identity crisis
healthn't
many
please tell me things directly instead of passively if possible