Sven Slootweg @joepie91@pixie.town

Gah, I hate the "love is love" slogan so much

Just say "respectable gays only" already and be done with it

- dwarves stuck on loop repeatedly picking different boots and socks when they should just pick one and go
- dwarves leaving their clothing articles all over the place
- 'elven spies do not respect visitor cap and I currently have 180 of them, all claiming they came here to "relax"'
- Trade wagons (made of wood) become horrified at violence and spontaneously explode
- cannot order drink at my own fort’s inn—tavern keeper claims “I don’t work here”
- farmer walks to furniture stockpile, picks up an entire bed, walks to farm plot and plants the bed
- magma crab drowns in magma
- dwarves indifferent to being set on fire
- the dwarves who are indifferent to being on fire want to drink from (highly flammable) alcohol stockpile
- tamed wild animals who have killed dwarves in the past continue to kill them and do not act tamed at all, but dwarves still believe them to be pets and ignore the attacks
- animals can develop religion and then get depressed due to unfulfillable need to practice it
- NPCs will drink anything at all that is inside a mug if you offer them a mug of something. including non-liquid objects.
- scouters who are secretly vampires brag about their past kills while scouting
- when a mayoral mandate is not obeyed in time, mayor sentences themself to physical punishment
- babies ride mothers like horsies. as in, they steer them. because babies have no survival instinct the rider and steed just wander around until they starve
- "is it better if they're carried in the front?"— mothers not wanting to abandon their babies would charge into battle with babies on slings. (does not end well for babies.)
- if a building destroyer monster finds a door jammed open by an object, they will politely wait for someone to close the door before proceeding to destroy it along with murdering the dwarf
- dwarves become raving lunatics due to extreme mood swings caused by going outside in the rain
- dwarven poets overuse caesuras and reverse syntax
- babies are born with a strapped knife
- composing music and poetry ignores surrounding enemies, therefore magically teleporting you away from attacks and back to the map screen
- some children have negative age. they're shown headless in the autogenerated portraits, and are impossible to hit due to having negative size. once they age into 0 years they become normal babies
- tutorial mode does not check randomly selected embark location for safety. it's not unusual for first time players to spawn right in the middle of a cursed acid mist or something and die immediately at the "welcome to the tutorial!" window
- dwarves failed to care if you melted down their masterpieces
- musicians never get to playing the costly instruments installed at taverns
- when a musician drops an instrument mid-performance, dwarves never interact with that instrument again
- farm animals do not breed due to being "unwilling to commit to marriage"
- ghosts count as fortress members if everybody else dies. since ghosts only go away if the living memorialises them and there's no more living citizens, this results in an unkillable non-interactive fortress. visitors come hang out with ghosts while plants grow wild.
- ghosts unintentionally make post-mortem citizen petitions that can be accepted. if you put them on a squad their colleagues keep trying to spar with them and repeatedly get disappointed to discover they're intangible
- dwarves get depressed without alcohol. vampire dwarves cannot drink alcohol, only blood. so they grow ever more sad and lethargic as the years pass. (this has been declared not a bug and is now officially part of vampire dwarfdom.)
- mountains wanted to make music, but cannot because they have no instruments and no singing voice. as a result, the universe explodes