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reflections on abuse, self-worth, and "fair" (+) 

jasmine just said "abusers always view the abuse as fair" to me

i already know this... both intuitively and from my own reading about these dynamics.

still, it really hits me when i think about this.

for years i internalized that "fairness".

it has made healing from the abuses of my life that much harder, because on a fundamental level i viewed the abuses as fair. i was told they were fair.

even today, i will credit my upbringing with equipping me to navigate power structures in this absolutely fucked up world of capitalism and hierarchy.

the reason i credit my abusers instead of celebrating my own resilience to handle this world
despite my abuse is that i justify the abuse to myself as fair.

i was told that i had to be abused to prepare me for the world, the abuses of the world feel the same as these abuses i was raised to endure. the justification feels true, but the psychological research says otherwise. the way i react to sweetness and love says otherwise. my inability to truly thrive despite my successes says otherwise.

one more reason to get rid of my ideas of "deserving".
one more reason to redefine "fair" under my new value system.
one more reason to love myself even harder for being authentically me.

:trans_heart:

New #webdev concept: The VNC test.

If viewing a website over a VNC session uses less data than directly loading it in a browser, it fails the test.

Edit: Not a new concept, thank you @cybertailor for this reply!

wetdry.world/@cybertailor/1136

What kind of tea does a web developer drink? 

URL Grey.

The words "show" and "for a month" were redundant here.

re: kink, question :boost_requested: 

Incidentally, creatures in (Flemish) Belgium also qualify, for all practical purposes and intents it's close enough :p

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every web browser has to support some weird microsoft image format and will look for a file under a fixed path when loading a website, because that’s how internet explorer did favicons like 25 years ago

I'm currently evaluating CSS UI toolkits, and it's kind of depressing how few of them have even a vaguely capable data table component

kink, question :boost_requested: 

So, are there any creatures on fedi who are in NL and are into hard kink especially around dubcon/noncon stuff? Everyone always seems to be in Germany...

Good job everyone who posts nature pics with alt text, you’re the best

Update 2 re: health and surgery 

New transplantation date is January 14!

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ableism 

"A high-IQ CSS framework."

That sure is a way to market a CSS file

This is also more generally a good way to spot fairweather allies: did someone suddenly start caring about an issue at the exact moment it would've benefited them to do so?

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Reminder for copyright abolitionists that LLM proponents are not our allies, and you should check *why* someone is arguing against copyright - a good way to check is whether someone already opposed copyright prior to the LLM hype

in switzerland you aren't allowed to have a train with exactly 256 axles because of an integer overflow in the axle counting machine

i wish i could fix my software bugs by making it illegal to cause them

if you were wondering, severely underpowered means 4gb of ram and a celeron

yes they still make celerons

RE:
https://possum.city/notes/a208ssxgg3i500q5

is it rude to email an aur package maintainer with an update to their package? ofc I understand folks get busy but I wanna help keep the dotnet packages version bumped but like, what's the procedure? is there a good wiki article on it?

Time to review those patron privacy policies + your law enforcement request procedures, library folks.

"It has come to our attention that some libraries in Michigan have been receiving visits from their local FBI offices.

Agents have been specifically interested in Maker Spaces and 3d printers, the library policies for what can or cannot be made, and how the library maintains the digital files used to create items and tracks usage and users."

lists.mcls.org/pipermail/michl

#libraries #privacy

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