Reminded like every xmas about how absolutely and intentionally wasteful gift boxes and baskets are.
This year, N received a gift basket big enough to be a bed for a medium-sized dog. The basket itself is completely filled with padding that creates a flat surface across the top of the (30cm? high) basket's rim, where the actual contents (candy and snacks) are spread out in a thin layer.
This is a particularly egregious example, but they're all like this - the difference between the "simple" and "fancy" ones isn't the quantity nor quality of the contents, but the ostentatiousness of the packaging.
A while back, we got a box of chocolates for the teachers at K's preschool. It turned out to be maybe 20 pieces of chocolate, in a huge box with cardboard inserts, a plastic tray, and tissue paper - it would have been significantly better on every axis to have gotten them a bag of assorted halloween candy from the grocery store, but it wouldn't have felt as "nice" because we've all been conditioned to appreciate this kind of presentation.
kink, dubcon, question
There seem to be two competing meanings for the term 'free use':
1. Some kind of sexual interaction with someone while they are doing mundane things like laundry, gaming, etc. - where the appeal seems to be the disregard for the sub, attention-wise.
2. Blanket permission to engage in arbitrary sexual interaction at any time (possibly within a particular time window) without establishing consent first, though potentially still with the option to reject it - where the appeal seems to be the unexpectedness and the disregard for consent.
Is there some way to distinguish these two, terminology-wise? As they seem to push pretty different buttons for different reasons.
Christmas Nerd Snipe:
Where can you stand and be seen by the largest number of people, based on population density and elevation?
Rules:
1) You must be standing on something that exists (cranes are fine)
2) The thing you are standing on must be physically in contact with and supported by earth
3) The observers are allowed telescopes
S&M meta, painplay consent
imagine that a loved one asks you to pull a lever that will give you an electroshock. you want them to be happy and you can take a bit of pain, so you decide to do it. alas, this type of electroshock can also do permanent nerve damage, and just that happens. your lover knew of this risk and didn't tell you. we can all agree that this person acted badly, right? they should have told you.
now situation B, imagine that your lover asks you to pull a lever that will give _them_ an electroshock. you pull the lever and they get permanent nerve damage. you didn't know that this was a risk, but your lover did, and decided not to tell you. it's their own body, after all, and they were looking forward to this, they wanted to run the risk. if they told you maybe you'd chicken out. and now every time you look at their hands trembling, you remember you pulled the lever.
how would you feel about this situation?
---
which is to say, sadists have boundaries too. at any given moment, we have limits on how much pain we're willing to dish and how much risk we're willing to put your body under, even if you are confident that you can take more. these boundaries vary with the person and the occasion, like any other.
it would be very bad for me to propose, say, asphyxiation play to someone, without making sure they know that there's no safe way to do asphyxiation play; valid consent has to be informed. by the same token, please do not hide any previously existing injuries, health conditions, allergies etc. before a session, or any suspicious sensations you feel during it. I am aware (every domme is aware) that during a session your ability to think clearly or use words is reduced, sometimes to smithereens. this isn't what I'm talking about, I'm not expecting you to monitor your own body perfectly at all times. but like, don't hide information on purpose because you want a scene to keep going. it's your body, yes, and you can submit it to as much risk as you want, yes, but when the risk in question is _me_ you need my consent too. "Risk-aware consensual kink" means both sides are aware of the risks to both sides.
I do empathise that it's frustrating to get dénouement when you were eager for escalation, when it's so rare to have time to date in this economy etc.; but this type of edging is how we build trust. both of us will have to demonstrate the ability to exercise restraint, multiple times, before we can really truly trust one another to do the hardcore stuff. when we reach the point where I can go all out, I can guarantee you'll be glad we put in the work
Why is the entire earphone an interactive element and why do I need to consult an eldritch tome of arcane rituals to be able to use it
I was really touched by this post about my little Christmas toy from a few years ago last year - and now the update 😀
This game and its predecessor are free to play alone or with a friend here:
https://drake-blue.itch.io/christmas-kitten-chaos
and
USPOL/Class war
Human beings have an innate sense of fairness. It's hard coded into our brains, just like our sense of smell or taste. Our natural response to an unfair situation is anger and an attempt to rectify it. Children point out "that's not fair" without being taught. Even social primates in the jungle check each other to make sure no one starts hoarding bananas while the group goes hungry.
Capitalism is an inherently unfair system. The ruling class has distorted our sense of fairness for decades to remain in power. They said, "people who work harder deserve more money." We accepted that because it seems fair.
But, there's only so much wealth to hoard. Capitalism demands infinite growth in a finite system. It's a cancer that takes up so much space, we cannot build the social, cooperative systems that are optimal for our brains and bodies.
We now know it is impossible that Musk works billions of times harder than any first responder, social worker, nurse, etc. He spends all day on Twitter making AI pictures of himself, yet the working class is subject to his whims. He, who is not a democratically elected official, has the power to shut down the government, simply because he has all the bananas.
What do primates do when a member of their group hoards resources to the detriment of everyone else? They rip the perpetrator apart. They are literally torn limb from limb. The group is better off with an equitable distribution of resources, it makes no sense to give everything to the most disruptive and selfish member.
The violence we're seeing towards the ruling class was inevitable. The marching, negotiating, and striking were all attempts to rectify the unfairness before it got it this point. They didn't want to hear it, so they are facing the consequences of creating an underclass of angry people with nothing to lose. It's not "good" or "bad," it's just a natural fact.
i was kinda turned off of them at first because the term "airfryer" is a bit of a marketing gimmick, and then ones i'd seen seemed too small to be useful for me, but now that i have one i pretty much use it all the time when i don't have the energy to cook, don't wanna create a bunch of dishes, or just want some crispy taters
Oh hell - someone summarized what I have been feeling in recent years about computing but hadn’t been able to fully link together. God damn.
Technical debt collector and general hype-hater. Early 30s, non-binary, ND, poly, relationship anarchist, generally queer.
Sometimes horny on main (behind CW), very much into kink (bondage, freeuse, CNC, and other stuff), and believe it or not, very much a submissive bottom :p
Feel free to flirt, but if you want to actually meet up and/or do something with me, lewd or otherwise, please tell me explicitly or I won't realize :) I'm generally very open to that sort of thing!
Further boundaries: boosts are OK (including for lewd posts), DMs are open. But the devil doesn't need an advocate; I'm not interested in combative arguing in my mentions. I am however happy to explain things in-depth when asked non-combatively.
My spoons are limited, so I may not always have the energy to respond to messages.
Strong views about abolishing oppression, hierarchy, agency, and self-governance - but I also trust people by default and give them room to grow, unless they give me reason not to. That all also applies to technology and how it's built.