Sven Slootweg @joepie91@pixie.town

Years ago, I’ve seen a phrase saying that some people always remember that “I am not like others”, but always forget that “Others are not like me”.

For #neuroqueer me, the first one is because, well, the society just doesn’t let me forget: I am always reminded that I am weird, wrong, not adequate, not appropriate etc
The second one, I suppose, is firstly because of exposure: #neurodivergency usually runs in the family - plus it’s more likely to be surrounded by somewhat relatable people, so #neurodivergent traits are seen as more common, and, secondly, because of innate human trait to see oneself as a baseline, to measure the world in relation to ourselves.

For me, that second thing makes it sometimes hard to believe that the things represented in the culture as normal and common are actually real:
- Wow, guys, you have your real selves? How do you know it’s not just another mask?
- No, it can’t be that loud music in shopping malls is not overwhelming for someone!
- I’m sure, that spontaneous love-at-the-first-sight is totally made up by poets and writers!
- Why would they even care about that person’s gender, it doesn’t matter?

And, from time to time, it would create some common dismissive phrases to raise as a center of doubt:
- Isn’t everyone having the same problems? Do NT people actually exist and are not just the same NDs like me, just masking better, with NT stereotype being nothing more than just a fairy tale made by exploitive society everyone is chasing hopelessly?
- Isn’t everyone pan by nature and just putting themselves into certain frames according to societal expectations?
- Doesn’t everyone just decide first that they want to fall in love with this particular person - based on their merits or potential candidates availability, and work towards feeling something later, and all those crazy spontaneous love stories being just late justifications of bad choices?
- Doesn’t everyone sometimes have dreams about having a different kind of body?
… and so on

The worst thing is, that despite knowing how ridiculous such doubts are, despite knowing all of the reasoning and all, part of me will still often have this doubts - because it’s not about actual reason, it’s much more about that basic instinct of having yourself as the origin, keeping all the coordinates relative to yourself.

Do you guys sometimes have these doubts about ‘maybe I am not so different after all, and others are just masking better?’ Are you also sometimes frustrated ‘It can’t be that some people actually do that’? Which are the things that you stumble upon most?
@actuallyautistic

Folks tend to think being a polyamorous transbian is mostly fun and sex, but it turns out there's actually an awful lot of talking, holding each other, yearning, and crying involved

Oh, and seriously hating the concept of distance

“Amid a national backlash against criminal justice reform, Illinois has achieved something extraordinary. It’s working better than anyone expected.” #Illinois #Chicago #CashBail #JBPritzker https://www.thenation.com/article/society/cash-bail-reform-illinois/

adding a touch of enby to my terminal

Young people are good with computers, so we don't need to teach them computing basics in school anymore.

[some years later]

Huh, the younger generation isn't very good with computers. Wonder why that is… Let's blame it on short attention spans and tiktoks or something.

#tech #education #kids

Apparently my new medication is called Resonium and I feel like I've just been prescribed ores from a Minecraft modpack

A "data center" is like a game center but with spreadsheet consoles instead of arcade games. Drop a quarter in and do your taxes

Disney is set to pay $43.3M to settle a lawsuit accusing it of paying its female employees in California $150M less than their male counterparts over 8 years.

Disney argues it pays both genders equally.

The problem, the women said, is that they and other women are started at lower salaries than men, based on their compensation at previous jobs. Paying based on previous salary is a path to inequitable compensation.

https://www.wsj.com/business/media/disney-agrees-to-43-3m-settlement-in-suit-alleging-it-paid-women-less-than-men-e495927d?trk=storyline-feed_main-feed-storyline-activity-card_feed-article-content

wait what?

https://ludic.mataroa.blog/blog/why-i-will-always-be-angry-about-software-engineering/

I think everyone touching computers under capitalism should read this. It is a cathartic read, both in its positivity and its nuance. (It's not the shortest text, so bookmark it for later if you're in a hurry)

It's telling that both nostr and bluesky fans have adopted cryptobros' dismissive "go do your research" defense to any criticism

This is the most real thing I’ve read today: I, too, don’t want the cursed knowledge of the various idiocies of company and startup founders in my brain.

via @phire at https://phirephoenix.com/blog/2024-11-05/modernity, who speaks nothing but the truth, and I say that as somebody who, yes, actually does self-host a bunch of stuff (and the later paragraph about self-hosting-as-a-hobby is true in all respects), and just, ugh. No. Ugh.

Both things can be true:

• "I don't care, I use Linux" doesn't address the systemic encroachment in privacy caused by the OS duopoly.
• There's no solution to those systemic issues that doesn't at least in some small part pass through more individuals using Linux.

https://infosec.exchange/@Em0nM4stodon/113539927769896659

System problems do not generally have individual solutions, but that doesn't mean that individual action isn't part of larger systemic solutions.

Every biome has an animal that fills the garbage can niche and it’s usually the most terrifying animal on the continent

Being too tired to... reminds me: young peeps, in your primes, never accept shaming. You are at the height of your powers. Anything you can do, feel NO imposter bs. It is NOT easy. You DO have a skill. That skill is NOT easy for the client or boss to just do themselves or replace.

Age teaches you how abused you were. So just believe me and demand respect now!