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As a society we should make it as easy as possible for people to leave bad families in fair and equitable ways.

That is essential to having an egalitarian society. Freedom of association, and also freedom of disassociation.

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I should probably start tagging these project update posts with or something.

Anyway, current status: rewrite of the scraping backend is almost done. I'm a lot happier with this version than with the previous one, and this one should be a lot more suitable for the original goal of making it easier for people to build their own search engines.

Some big items remaining: switching to embedded Oxigraph instead of a stand-alone server (requires writing some Neon/Rust bindings), rewiring the code so that it can actually load multiple configuration modules with their own namespaces (as it's meant to do), implementing auto-expiry of dependents, worker threads, custom TTLs, and converting existing scraper modules to the new API.

The API didn't change *much*, but enough to need some changes. That should actually end up simplifying the modules!

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phone recommendation, boost ok 

can anyone recommend me a phone that can run a recent mobile OS and is likely to get updates, i can get for vaguely cheap [used is ok], and ideally not huge? purpose is mainly running apps that won't work on grapheneos

tech worker pol 

“You don’t get rewarded for being extra. You don’t get any money when you save costs. You’re going to get a raise below inflation. You’re stupid for caring the way that you do. The business’ downside risk is not yours, and it’s profits are not yours either.”

Excellent article. qword.net/2023/04/30/maybe-you

(I think it's still faster than PostgreSQL with the same workload though)

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en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Internat

> The day was first celebrated in 2012, started by Katje van Loon. The date was chosen for being precisely midway between International Men's Day and International Women's Day.

I laughed :blobfoxlaugh:

Happy NB people's day!

subtooting hackernews 

Every single time there's a thread on HN about the issues with Git, it doesn't matter what, there *will* be people jumping in defending it as "it's not that hard, you must just not have taken the time to learn it".

And the fact that such vast swathes of developers, including highly experienced ones, continue to find it unintuitive and unpleasant to work with, *somehow* doesn't register to them as a signal that maybe the problem is actually with Git itself...

I really don't understand people who behave like this. How many people need to complain about something before you're willing to concede that maybe there's room for improvement? Why are you so invested in insisting that it's perfect?

@Schouten_B @McCovican @mathew @RenewedRebecca the attitude of an ethical technology company should be that they provide an unsurprising technology that has their interests at heart - including getting consent from them for features that they might not like. it should not be that the users don't know what they want and it's too complicated to explain things to them

Hey please remember to CW your USPOL comments. Thanks!

I think one of the confusing things about the so-called "24-hour news cycle" is that things can be extremely important while also having zero effect on what the next right thing is to do.

Why mutual aid is better than giving to charity (a few of many reasons):

- your money has the most impact on someone's reality if you give it directly to them. none goes into overheads, processing, payroll, marketing, etc

- real people right now have dire problems that cash can instantly solve

- your community (the place where you belong, not a distant separate place) improves and so your life benefits

- people's lives, when you boil down all the world's problems, are the highest priority

Finally made my first demo with Slipstream!

@Violet 's monitor got damaged on the way to the Black Valley @demoparty_no party, so in a life-giving-you-lemons exercise, I decided to make it into a one-of-a-kind custom demo platform using the remaining pixels. One soundtrack from @vurpo later and we were in business...

youtube.com/watch?v=_MHTeTXaQM

CW: abuse 

These mental models can't really be avoided.

I don't have a magic solution other than to just be aware of the toll of that kind of self-criticism and self-regulation.

It can take on a life of its own. It can persist even after you get away from the person or people who it was created to protect you from.

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CW: abuse 

To anticipate what an abuser might do next you have a little copy of the abuser running in your mind like a virtual machine. You start viewing all of your actions through the lens of how that abuser might react.

And since you need to anticipate what they will do, you keep it on overdrive... there is a danger that the warped perceptions and prejudices that enable their abuse start to become your own.

You start taking on some of the work of "keeping you in your place" yourself.

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CW: abuse 

It's pretty common (and in some ways unavoidable) to have a mental model of your abuser in your mind. You practice anticipating what the abuser will think of you, how they will see you, so you can anticipate what they might do next. This is why victims often have a granular understanding of the motivations, passions & concerns of the people who harm them, while those doing the harm often know nearly nothing about the people they attack.

This model is useful but it's also dangerous.

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