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Good morning! It's April Fool's Day, so as is my tradition I'm going to spend the day telling terrible jokes. Here's a classic to set expectations:

What do you call a fish with no eyes?

A fsh!

I got fired from my job as a calendar designer. I feel like the overreacted - all I did was take a couple days off.

So https://fedidevs.com/ is a thing now. But looking at the FAQ it seems they just opted a bunch of instances into it and require you to request your instance be removed. Somehow they will "verify your identity" as the instance admin before they'll do that.

Having to set your account as not indexable to not be included if you're on one of the opted in instances isn't cool either. The alternative is you can email them to have your account removed, but again you're opted in by force.

The whole concept of consent seems to be lost on people.

diet (medical) 

Some things that, surprisingly, I can apparently still eat large amounts of without issues:
- '100%' peanut butter
- pure chocolate

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"Let's agree to disagree" continues to be one of my pet peeves.

If you want to frame it as agreement so badly, why don't *you* do that work yourself, don't expect me to pretend a disagreement doesn't exist just because it makes you uncomfortable

Twitter algorithm, the republican/democrat thing 

So, Twitter's open-source algorithm contained a marker for Republican vs. Democrat accounts.

Elsewhere in the source code, there was a comment explaining that it didn't affect ranking, it was only meant as a metric to ensure their algorithm wasn't biasing to one side or the other. So, all good right?

Well... no, unfortunately, because it introduced false balance. It's no secret that Republicans are comparatively more likely to use outrage and hate as a publicity strategy. Not that Democrats are remotely innocent here, but comparatively it's less common.

So what happens when you try to adjust the algorithm to derank hate and outrage? The ranking for Republicans disproportionately drops, something that is not allowed by this metric. It's seen as a bug.

Because of this attempt at false balance, this attempt at "fairness for both sides", it would have become impossible to discourage posting hate, just because it would change the supposed fairness metric.

This is a great example of how technology isn't neutral, how building it "fairly for everybody" has very bad consequences, and why you always need to make a choice of what specific behaviour and ideology you want to encourage or discourage.

fascism and queerphobia in the US, PSA. 

i want to talk to my friends and followers and whatnot who are from USA.

dear americans,

i am not going to sugarcoat this.
your country (and possibly the entire world) is at stake now.
your society is threatened by an aggressive far-right malignant parasite that is republican party and the alt-right.

their leaders pursue one and one simple goal — to gain power for their own selfish benefit. they will try to take this power through every possible avenue — be it propaganda and making up excuses to push their bullshit such as "trans ideology", "states rights" and "protecting the nation", voter manipulation, or even an armed coup if things go really bad.

the right is bashing working class, queer, non-white, female, disabled, neurodivergent, immigrant, non-christian citizens and many other groups of people. they are burning down our planet. they let people die of starvation or wage wars over oil or power.

what is happening right now strongly resembles the situation that was happening in Germany before Nazis rose to their reign.

bear with me. (1/3)

(boost with CW) privacy violations, BetterHelp, social media corporations 

(boost)

re: subtoot 

Like, you're not the only Dude with opinions, you can safely assume that we've heard this milquetoast Default Argument hundreds of times by now, and it isn't any more convincing the 301st time

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subtoot 

How are there still Dudes who believe that "but radical things are polarizing" is some novel argument that just *has* to be shared with someone who didn't ask for opinions

the fediverse is the myspace of the internet

Your honour, I have never knowingly accurately predicted how long a task will take me, how I will achieve the task, or to what quality I will achieve it,

okay so april fools is going to be over soon, and I assume that's when we're gonna find out cisgender straight people were a prank

ableism, autism, capitslism 

non-autistic leftists need to stop telling autistic people that we wouldn't be disabled if we didn't live under capitalism. obviously capitalism makes things worse but there are still traits that would still be disabling regardless. here are some things about me as an example:

- autism messes up my sleep, regardless of if i have to have a specific schedule or not

- i have trouble with daily living tasks, such as brushing my teeth and eating enough

- talking takes a lot of energy, i scramble up my words, and i don't feel like i can really get my ideas across by talking

- i can get sensory overload pretty much anywhere, loud sounds and bad textures would still exist outside of capitalism

- i'd still have social anxiety, executive dysfunction, coordination/posture problems, slow brain processing, etc.

being disabled isn't bad, its just life for us, and its okay that ppl would still be disabled in a non-capitalist society. just listen to us and respect our needs

Realizing, at my age, finally, that I can just be whomever I please.

what do you call it when you briefly examine something by moving your mouse over it? 

a curosry glance

"we need you to dress more professionally"

"sorry, the professional outfit is an S rank rare, so far you've only rolled 3 catgirl skins and a french maid outfit, try your luck again for 15 gems"

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remember kids: the appropriate response to hateful bigots is not to reason with them or beg them to agree that you deserve rights.

they go in the bin, with the other trash

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