Sven Slootweg (soft-deprecated) @joepie91@pixie.town

I don't see this talked about like, ever.

So I'll talk about it.

If you realised you're trans but find yourself sometimes not really hating your assigned gender and being like "meh" to it?

1) That doesn't mean you've been cis all along;
2) It doesn't mean you just imagined your dysphoria;
3) You're not "pretending" anything or lying to anyone, least of all yourself.

It just means you're more tired than dysphoric. Your brain can't keep negative feelings at full steam all the time, which is good. It's not supposed to.

Do not measure your transness by how much you CURRENTLY need to transition. Dysphoria comes and goes. So does euphoria, for that matter.

I went through several cycles of "I am trans. Wait... I don't feel strongly about this anymore. Was that real? No, wait, ARGH, I'm trans. Wait..." and so on, before I started transitioning. Fooled me every single time.

I still experience this. I'm experiencing this today. I am currently wondering why this whole transition thing is such a big deal to me.

But guess what. I know I'm trans, I've been through this before. Doubts that something is true are not the same as knowing it is not.

You will have doubts whether you're trans years after you transition to your general satisfaction. You will. It just happens. You will still be almost certainly happy that you transitioned. That's what being trans means.

If you don't MIND your assigned gender at the moment, but still your actual gender sounds neat, you're still trans.

You're allowed to pause things and recalibrate, or focus on something else. Your transition should go at your pace.

But you haven't suddenly become cis. I promise you that you haven't. You still prefer to function as your real gender, don't you?

I've done this enough times that I need to say it. It's OK. It ebbs and flows. As long as you're not actually *satisfied* with your assigned gender, as long as you have ANY overall need to transition, you're not cis. You may be genderfluid or genderflux or bigender or agender or genderqueer or non-binary. Knock yourself out exploring those (I sure did). There's no penalty for concluding with "nah".

You may also be very Very, Very Tired.

But none of those things mean "cis". I'm begging you, believe me.

EDIT: one good way to figure this out is - OK, so you don't jump for joy at the thought of transitioning. Now imagine yourself in your actual gender. Imagine it's all done and dealt with. Is your imagined self repulsive, do you want to *avoid* this? Does the idea of HAVING transitioned fill you with discomfort?

If not, then you're not cis. Cis people are *uncomfortable* with the idea of transitioning because they inhabit their AGAB. That's their entire deal.

EDIT 2: also, this is the MOST unintuitive thing ever - I firmly believe feeling "meh" about transition can paradoxically be a symptom of dysphoria.

I don't think it's an accident that I currently feel this way after some rough days, and while having to deal with several days' worth of facial hair. One way dysphoria manifests is that your emotions shut down for maintenance. It's good. But it doesn't mean they were never there in the first place.

Since texture/.com removed the free credits, I found myself wondering where to grab textures for free

I haven't seen a list on my timeline yet, so I want to share the ones I like best for FREE TEXTURES!

#texture #textures #gamedev #3D #IndieDev

👇🐁

I think the Github model was originally a pretty decent 'MVP' for a product management system (minimal but not effective), but it never actually grew beyond that despite tacking on more features, and now it is neither minimal anymore *nor* effective.

Kunnen we als-je-blieft een basisinkomen invoeren. Hoeveel geld is er nu wel weer verspild aan controleren van een mevrouw die blijkbaar regelmatig wat schooit bij de buurman en andere kennissen
https://www.pzc.nl/binnenland/gemeente-trekt-bijstand-in-van-vrouw-omdat-ze-te-weinig-boodschappen-doet-rechter-grijpt-in~a4fa97a4/

When people see you struggling but just don’t care, because your tears and your pain mean nothing to them. This is in the same bucket as “you’re so resilient” #workplace #racism #women #BlackWomen #POC #DEI #job #BlackMastodon #BlackFedi

I really want to like city builders but their politics make me vomit.

anarchist city builder game where the city builds itself and you just watch

Not only does this lower wages, it also instills fear in workers for speaking up or making waves as they don’t want to be in the next wave of layoffs. Cause it’ll come. The only way to break this cycle is tech workers showing solidarity with each other, which is something they are extremely bad at.

If you haven’t been following this: what happens is one company will do layoffs (despite excellent if not record profits), and all of them take the cue and follow suit. The layoffs disproportionately affect people with more seniority and higher compensation. A couple of weeks later, they all slowly fill the positions back up again, at lower pay. Because the job market was flooded with people who’ve now become concerned if not desperate, they accept. A couple of months pass and the cycle repeats.

At some point a legislator will catch on to the wage suppression effort currently being perpetrated by the big tech companies. Unfortunately that’s probably not any time soon.