@KuJoe This is not a learnable skill for many ND folks, that is the problem. It's expecting them to do something they literally cannot.

@KuJoe The one point I would tend to disagree with is "they are both correct", because there's one significant difference: neurotypical folks are often uncomfortable with neurodivergent communication, whereas neurodivergent folks are often *actually unable* to understand neurotypical communication.

@KuJoe And so the straightforward, direct form of communication is at least nominally possible to understand for everyone involved, whereas the passive-aggressive unspoken-implication form is not.

@joepie91 they are uncomfortable because they don’t know what is happening just like the neurodivergent person in the conversation. It’s not as simple as “just change how you think” for either party. It really does take a lot of effort for a neurotypical person to even grasp how a neurodivergent person communicates and without actual training and education it isn’t going to happen (and in the US it’s an expensive process).

@KuJoe I know why the discomfort happens. It is still a difference between "unfamiliar but could figure it out" and "literally unable to".

@KuJoe (It also does not require any professional training, it does require a willingness to figure it out)

@joepie91 I really wish this was true, the lack of public education and awareness makes it really hard to even identify it. As a neurodivergent I was able to recognize my kid was more like me (although it took several years to recognize it and I didn’t even know I was neurodivergent until a few years ago), but for my wife we were just quirky individuals who adjusted over time so it didn’t occur to her to change anything because she didn’t even notice.

@KuJoe Oh sure, that is a real problem - but I consider that a cultural and collective one, for which societal awareness needs to exist, rather than something to address on an individual level. The 'actual learning how to deal with it' part doesn't require professional help, once you are aware that it is needed and why, is what I mean.

@joepie91 even medical professionals don’t really care or notice. I had to pay about $8000 out of pocket to get my kid properly tested because nobody would believe me that I thought they were neurodivergent and the coping mechanisms and recommendations they kept giving me and my wife were not helpful at all since they were under the assumption our child was neurotypical. Once we had a diagnosis things got better, but after 10+ years it’s an adjustment.