Is there a (short) name for:
1. Not defining relationships as eg. "boyfriend" vs. "lover" vs. "friend", etc. but rather just treating them all as "wherever it ends up going that we both feel comfortable with"?
2. Not experiencing 'relationship degradation', ie. if I haven't talked to somebody for 5 years and then talk to them again, it'll be exactly where we left off?
(Boosts welcome!)
@justtesting It does indeed seem to correlate strongly to 'autism', though I don't really like the term personally (long story), hence trying to find a more specific term that describes these specific characteristics :)
@joepie91 the first is what I define as relationship anarchy, the second is being understanding of neurodiverity
@dysphoricunicorn It's more than just "being understanding of", though - I really mean that I don't experience relationship degradation at all, on a personal level, there's just no 'time' component to my relationships... and this is apparently uncommon!
@joepie91 I don’t experience that either. It’s probably an ADHD thing since I don’t really have a concept of time.
I just don’t think that this is something that people who don’t work this way can "learn", so from their perspective I’d call it understanding
@joepie91 I think those two would be seperate things
the first one is quite common in polyamorous people (at least in my experience) but not necesary to be polyamorous so they might just often be found together
I actually relate to both so maybe all three (polyamory, relationship anarchy and lack of relationship degredation) are often found together hahaha😅
@joepie91 2. adhd and lack of object permanence? (mostly a joke but that’s what i struggle with and why)
@joepie91 2. ADHD-related time blindness
@joepie91 Thanks for the term " relationship degradation", that might be useful for discussing this phenomenon! :)
@blinry It's a term I've only learnt recently, actually! Until a few months ago, it hadn't even really occurred to me that this wasn't how relationships worked for everybody... and it explains a lot of the accusations of "neglecting relationships" that ND folks often get thrown at them :/
@meduelelateta Yep, a couple of people have actually brought that up! I actually knew the term already, but (wrongly) had it defined in my head as "polyamory without requiring every partner to know about every other partner", but it turns out that it means something quite different :)
@joepie91 echoing previous. 1 I would call relationship anarchy, 2 I might call a comet, though those are usually more romantic than platonic.
@joepie91 in regards to #1, I've heard some poly friends refer to it as "relationship anarchy". As in, no rules, no expectations per se, just having fun and seeing where you end up.
1: Relationship anarchy, is what I call it!
2: One of the up-sides of poor chronoception, I think is my opinion? I don't know for sure though.
@joepie91 I have no idea for the first one, but I've heard of "comet" for the second one! I really like that metaphor—when someone doesn't swing around for a long time, but when they do you still have a great time and pick up right where things were left off :3
@joepie91 is it relationship anarchist? I'm not sure.
@ikora First one indeed seems to be!
@joepie91 happiness or autism are my two picks