other than that, synapse-media-proxy seems to work well, nice and stable and memory use is pretty great too, even with all the thumbnailing.
Turns out most of the requests are thumbnails of media from other servers, which makes sense because that's how they appear in the timeline, only hitting /download when you click to see full res
https://stats.pixie.town/d/rPBvoh6Gk/synapse-media-proxy?orgId=1&refresh=15m&from=now-24h&to=now