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crossed off my most stressful/urgent TODO item :D time for more games

"I don't know who needs to hear this" I say, panicking as I mess up my first day on the job as a singing telegram

every time I open my todo-list im like 'oh yeah, fuck'

actually realised I don't want it as an overlay, because I was going to build my own stream page web thing with nginx-rtmp, which will have the chat on the side

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hmm maybe I'll try streaming how I'm building a bot that turns a room into an OBS chat overlay

also need to figure out a better way to frame/scale things, just a 1080p vscode window isn't too readable

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daamn my autoplay is sure on a roll today though, this is goooood

maybe I'll just do it anyways if my mood improves but just not share it with that specific group, heh

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ugh I hate how what happened previously made me not want to stream anymore

even though I do want to stream

and also brain bad so probably won't get much programming done anyways, so streaming my non-progress wouldn't make sense anyways

autism as a trend/fad 

Seeing some neurotypicals talking like autistic people have recruited people who weren't autistic into some autism trend or fad, or even brainwashed them into a cult.
It's hogwash, obviously. Like it's some kind of 'Rapid Onset Autism' or something.
Trans people know this denial device well.
So do gay people.
It only looks sudden to someone who you were hiding it from, who doesn't know you've been struggling and grappling with shame about it for years, or even your whole life, without letting people know.
For trans and other LGBTQ+ people it's a closet, for autistic people it's masking.

parents, covid 

fuck if only my parents would stop nagging me to go out to dinner...
I don't fucking want to it only gives me stress, no enjoyment at all

This babies from @Cryoclaire just arrived in and :blobmeltsoblove: they so beautiful, they will fit so well in my laptop

people love to emphasize the dangers of it and harm it has done, but (very mysteriously) those same people did not voice those concerns back when people were ostracized for being gay, trans, not christian, mentally ill, etc. and the reality is the vast majority of society's ostracization of people for their behavior is still directed at those individuals

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(not the "really really" here, that's not what I ment...)

ugh I should go to bed

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I tend to repeat words a lot in adjacent or even the same sentence and I really really dislike when I see it...

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