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Goo Truther 
My wife left me just like I left my can-opener at home before we moved into the survival bunker. Sometines life is harsh like solder-sealed can beans opened with a 15inch chrome-played "survival knife." The fates are truly a harsh mistress, hounding me from the paper label of Heinz baked beans.
Would gave been fine with the Y2K apocalypse bucket, but that scares off tge girls. Maybe there is sonething to be said for sealed buckets. At least they won't hurt you.