Great news: I've gained access to the Akashic Records and am going to start transcribing them into English for everyone's benefit! Here's how they begin:
"A young man stands in his bedroom. It just so happens that today, the 13th of April,
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Goo Truther 
@sherbertmarcuse I downloaded this with my intuitive information abilities (astral p2p) and all I got was this weird webcomic.
