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alt fashion brands worth supporting [reviews], mention of dollskill, purchasing/money, police brutality 

A month or so ago, some larger alternative fashion brands got hard-cancelled.

They'd been problematic for years, but some friends and I had struggled to find cool alternatives. And then one of them rallied in defense of police brutality and Geneva Convention violations, and frankly, it was the last straw. I decided that boycotting these brands wasn't enough-- I had to fall in love with their competition.

I set aside about $200 and decided I'd see what I could find from more ethical shops. If I can get threads working, this'll be a thread. :)

International Women's Day, showing some love for trans women in technical spaces 

Happy international women's day.

About half the I interact with in an average week are . Trans women make my life and the spaces I hang out in online immeasurably better. They've rounded sharp corners and added a sense of emotional availability that men just tend not to do. They bring an air of femininity to a space that helps me feel like I don't need to do extra social work to balance things out myself.

It's really wonderful.

Last week, at the local hackerspace, I had a great chat about ethical alternative clothing shops with knowledge and nuance. These conversations rarely happen when I talk to men-- not because they don't care, but just because the topic is more complicated for feminine clothing than masculine. There's deeper changes to manufacturing processes than men's clothing silhouettes seem to feel, so less nuance (and digging) is necessary to achieve a pretty reasonable effect in comparison. Anyways, it was great, and it just felt very 'normal'. But I've also never had such a good fashion conversation in a technical space before, which is interesting because fashion is a highly technical art. This was, in a small way, revolutionary.

When spaces make femininity a comfortable thing to bring, they make everyone else feel more comfortable being a wider breadth of themselves. You see wider ranges of expression from everyone. Making women feel more comfortable often helps everyone feel more comfortable.

When spaces restrict those energies, everyone feels it. When I'd been in technical spaces without women, I used the phrase "caustic culture" a lot. The feeling of this pervasive, inescapable, slow ooze that just eats away at you little by little. Since then, I've spent a lot more time in spaces without that energy. I can't think of a single online technical space that doesn't feel caustic that hasn't had trans women in it. As a professor of mine once said, correlationdoes not imply causation, but it does often waggle its eyebrows at it.

So, happy international women's day to all the women everywhere, and especially to the trans women that've helped make the spaces I've been in so comfy. So many of you are leaders, and you are all wonderful and beautiful beings capable of immense gentility and soft strength. Celebrate yourself a bit today. 💙

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Going to a wedding with my girlfriend today. In peak queerdom, I'll be wearing her old suit, and she's borrowing a dress from another girlfriend. I've also managed to successfully remove the scales I was wearing to an art show last night, so I guess that's another fashion win.

It's my first time wearing a suit to a party. I considered a very nice dress, but it was a bit tight in the hip and I was worried it may become structurally unstable should I laugh while sitting.

We're gonna look great.

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by the way, we have enough vacant, livable homes in the united states to give every single person who is homeless right now (sheltered or unsheltered, temporary or chronic) 15 whole entire homes each.

based off of:

2021 US Census Bureau vacancy statistics: data.census.gov/table?q=B25004

2022 US Department of Housing and Urban Development Annual Homelessness Assessment Report: huduser.gov/portal/sites/defau

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Simple FYI for US:

If you last had a COVID vaccination more than two months ago (and no diagnosed COVID infection since then), you are eligible for another booster under CDC guidelines.

As someone in a higher-risk group about to head off to several conferences, I got another booster yesterday. (No improved 5G reception yet, though.)

And, if you have yet to get the bivalent booster (only 16% of US has), then do it! Not only will it help protect you, but it will help protect others -- like me!

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What're some nice things I can do for a friend that's getting top surgery?

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My super smart niece with incredible grades and test scores is looking for a good college but she is having trouble finding out information about what colleges are best for blind students. She wants a good community and support network. Anyone have any recommendations? She wants a challenging school with a good balance of arts and sciences. (so not a tech school or a super humanities heavy school) She’s good at math and music. #help #questions

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localpol 

RT @WedgeLIVE@twitter.com

Out of the typical 2500 resident requests, the plan is to select 10 or 20 traffic calming projects each year. Council Member Payne wants to know how the council can provide more money or staff to bump it up to 50 or 100.

🐦🔗: twitter.com/WedgeLIVE/status/1

Queer date ideas, valentine's day, overall food tips, alc mention 

Generally, for food, opt for things that won't tire either of you. Frozen lasagnas, grocery store deli options, microwave veggies, boxed pasta dinners, whatever is simple to make, but tasty. It's a good excuse to try something you've both been curious about, but I wouldn't take any big food risks without a solid backup plan.

The goal here is to minimize labor/stress so that everyone has energy for a little more quality time. So go ahead, take a shortcut or two on dinner if you'd like, and direct that energy towards your time together, instead.

Drinks-wise, a bottle of wine can be a bit much for two people, but a can of it has enough for a bit more than two glasses, and is usually less expensive. I also like to use the mini boxes of wine (they hold about 250 ml?) as a decent and inexpensive choice. They also fit in the fridge better when chilling.

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Queer date ideas, valentine's day, kink mention, alc mention 

4. Reverse Bilbo Baggins Date (great for a triad/polycule, good for spoony or Domme hosts, kink friendly)

You know how people showed up at Bilbo Baggins house and harassed him into hosting a party? Kind of? This is like that, but consensual. The host does very little, except perhaps clean the house/provide a place to gather, and the guests cook a wonderful meal together.

Ahead of time, the guests plan dinner. This can be as straightforward as a group trip to the grocery store on the way over, or it could be something more elaborate. Plan to arrive at the host's near the end of their work day.

Once the guests are settled and their work is finished, the host takes a shower and decompresses from their work day. Meanwhile, the guests get to work cooking dinner and possibly preparing cocktails. If you have additional people, they can put a playlist together, vacuum/tidy the space, help set the table, wash dishes, or whatever else. Just try to make sure everyone has something they can do to contribute, and that the host is cool with it.

Meanwhile, the host is getting ready for date night. Maybe wearing something fancy, maybe doing their makeup, whatever, just not being involved with the joyful chaos near the kitchen.

Once appetizers, snacks, drinks, whatever, are ready, the host is served. As prep finishes, more people join the pre-meal hangout, until everyone eats dinner together.

After dinner, the host is likely to have the energy they need to engage with all their lovely guests. And, since the prep work for dinner was shared, their guests shouldn't be too burned out, either. Wink wink.

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Queer date ideas, valentine's day, kink mention, alc mention 

3. Rope 101 date (better for 2)

Buy a rope book and some simple rope. Hardware store rope is fine, but do wash it, and remember that it's not suitable for suspending people. If you have the budget, you might want to get pretty rope from a kink shop, but it's not necessary to get started.

Read the first chapter or two of the book together while dinner cooks/you wait for food delivery. Skip the wine tonight, since it's best if you do kinky things with a sober head.

Have dinner, and do any dessert prep you need. Over dinner talk about what you liked from the book, and about any boundaries or things you'd like to avoid tonight. It's okay to make notes if you think it'll help.

Afterwards, try a simple tie from the book on the other, and then swap. Don't get too zealous, it's usually safest to try kinky things slowly and easily, a little bit at a time.

After you've done a tie or two, take a break for dessert. Over dessert, talk about how things felt. What were your favorite parts? Did something happen that anyone felt a little weird or uncomfortable with?

After dessert, snuggle, if you like, and maybe watch a movie together.

Once your date is finished, be sure to check in with each other in a day or two. Ask if they're feeling alright with how things went, and if they might prefer if anything went differently. The day-after check in is important, since if something does sit wrong, it sometimes takes some emotional space for it to "settle out" before someone is confident that something is a bit weird.

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Queer date ideas, valentine's day, non vegan food, dessert mention 

2. Letter date (poly friendly)
Spend your budget on stationary supplies. A wax seal kit, inks, whatever makes you glow. Compose poems or whatnot for the week or two leading up to the date.

Then, while dinner cooks (get something simple, like a frozen lasagna, or order takeout), write and seal your letters to each other. Whoever is done first can finish up food prep, or possibly even follow brownie mix instructions and set that baking.

Then, have dinner, and maybe some wine. Do any dessert prep that needs to be done (like taking cheesecake out of the fridge to get up to temp). By now, the inks should be dry, and the wax should have cooled.

Read each other's letters, and then share dessert.

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Queer date ideas, valentine's day 

1. Perfume date (poly friendly)
About two weeks before your date, choose an online perfume shop that offers samples. I usually find a little etsy shop.

Then, each person picks out 3-5 for each other without letting the other person see (easiest to do by leaving the room in person). Then, place the order.

Once the package arrives, plan for dinner 'in'. If you have memory issues, it can be helpful to bring a list of which perfumes you chose, and to bring up the list of the fragrance notes for reference. Have dinner, and do whatever prep you need for dessert. Then open the package of perfumes together and take turns giving them to each other.

Sometimes they smell nothing like how you'd expect, but you'll get to experience that together, and it's really sweet.

Suggested food: any, but maybe not something particularly pungent.

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Queer date ideas, valentine's day 

Valentine's day is coming up. Have some cute date night ideas for a budget of around $40 (not including food) and that don't rely on fancy food or expensive displays to convince someone you're into quality time with them.

Most of these do involve ordering a few things online, so it's time to do prep sometime this week, if these are your jam.

I find cooking stressful, so many of these dates assume dinner prep is baking a frozen pizza or something equally uninvolved, or getting delivery. Or, in one case, having others cook for you.

Suggestions/additions/boosts/whatever are extremely welcome.

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Following on from yesterday’s post, I wanted to share these guidelines for healthier, more mutually respectful interaction scott crow shared in his book “Black Flags and Windmills,” about the experience of organizing mutual aid in post-Katrina New Orleans. Not all of these “collective liberation guidelines” are relevant to online or discursive interactions, but the spirit animating them sure is. It’s the same spirit in which I’d hope to approach my disagreements with others.

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The Mushroom Color Atlas is a resource and reference for everyone curious about mushrooms and the beautiful and subtle colors derived from dyeing with mushrooms, an introduction to the kaleidoscopic fungi kingdom and our connection to it. mushroomcoloratlas.com/about/

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We normally promote the conference Tech Intersections: Women of Color in Computing on #Twitter but won't this year for obvious reasons.

Please help us spread the word about this #bipoc conference in #Oakland #California.

We're offering 20% off with promo code MASTODON. #BlackMastodon #BlackFriday

We are giving free tickets to people who have been laid off with promo code LAIDOFF.
techintersections.org

The event includes an #ally skills workshop for supporters of #woc.

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