Queer date ideas, valentine's day
Valentine's day is coming up. Have some cute date night ideas for a budget of around $40 (not including food) and that don't rely on fancy food or expensive displays to convince someone you're into quality time with them.
Most of these do involve ordering a few things online, so it's time to do prep sometime this week, if these are your jam.
I find cooking stressful, so many of these dates assume dinner prep is baking a frozen pizza or something equally uninvolved, or getting delivery. Or, in one case, having others cook for you.
Suggestions/additions/boosts/whatever are extremely welcome.
Queer date ideas, valentine's day
1. Perfume date (poly friendly)
About two weeks before your date, choose an online perfume shop that offers samples. I usually find a little etsy shop.
Then, each person picks out 3-5 for each other without letting the other person see (easiest to do by leaving the room in person). Then, place the order.
Once the package arrives, plan for dinner 'in'. If you have memory issues, it can be helpful to bring a list of which perfumes you chose, and to bring up the list of the fragrance notes for reference. Have dinner, and do whatever prep you need for dessert. Then open the package of perfumes together and take turns giving them to each other.
Sometimes they smell nothing like how you'd expect, but you'll get to experience that together, and it's really sweet.
Suggested food: any, but maybe not something particularly pungent.
Queer date ideas, valentine's day, non vegan food, dessert mention
2. Letter date (poly friendly)
Spend your budget on stationary supplies. A wax seal kit, inks, whatever makes you glow. Compose poems or whatnot for the week or two leading up to the date.
Then, while dinner cooks (get something simple, like a frozen lasagna, or order takeout), write and seal your letters to each other. Whoever is done first can finish up food prep, or possibly even follow brownie mix instructions and set that baking.
Then, have dinner, and maybe some wine. Do any dessert prep that needs to be done (like taking cheesecake out of the fridge to get up to temp). By now, the inks should be dry, and the wax should have cooled.
Read each other's letters, and then share dessert.
Queer date ideas, valentine's day, kink mention, alc mention
3. Rope 101 date (better for 2)
Buy a rope book and some simple rope. Hardware store rope is fine, but do wash it, and remember that it's not suitable for suspending people. If you have the budget, you might want to get pretty rope from a kink shop, but it's not necessary to get started.
Read the first chapter or two of the book together while dinner cooks/you wait for food delivery. Skip the wine tonight, since it's best if you do kinky things with a sober head.
Have dinner, and do any dessert prep you need. Over dinner talk about what you liked from the book, and about any boundaries or things you'd like to avoid tonight. It's okay to make notes if you think it'll help.
Afterwards, try a simple tie from the book on the other, and then swap. Don't get too zealous, it's usually safest to try kinky things slowly and easily, a little bit at a time.
After you've done a tie or two, take a break for dessert. Over dessert, talk about how things felt. What were your favorite parts? Did something happen that anyone felt a little weird or uncomfortable with?
After dessert, snuggle, if you like, and maybe watch a movie together.
Once your date is finished, be sure to check in with each other in a day or two. Ask if they're feeling alright with how things went, and if they might prefer if anything went differently. The day-after check in is important, since if something does sit wrong, it sometimes takes some emotional space for it to "settle out" before someone is confident that something is a bit weird.
Queer date ideas, valentine's day, kink mention, alc mention
4. Reverse Bilbo Baggins Date (great for a triad/polycule, good for spoony or Domme hosts, kink friendly)
You know how people showed up at Bilbo Baggins house and harassed him into hosting a party? Kind of? This is like that, but consensual. The host does very little, except perhaps clean the house/provide a place to gather, and the guests cook a wonderful meal together.
Ahead of time, the guests plan dinner. This can be as straightforward as a group trip to the grocery store on the way over, or it could be something more elaborate. Plan to arrive at the host's near the end of their work day.
Once the guests are settled and their work is finished, the host takes a shower and decompresses from their work day. Meanwhile, the guests get to work cooking dinner and possibly preparing cocktails. If you have additional people, they can put a playlist together, vacuum/tidy the space, help set the table, wash dishes, or whatever else. Just try to make sure everyone has something they can do to contribute, and that the host is cool with it.
Meanwhile, the host is getting ready for date night. Maybe wearing something fancy, maybe doing their makeup, whatever, just not being involved with the joyful chaos near the kitchen.
Once appetizers, snacks, drinks, whatever, are ready, the host is served. As prep finishes, more people join the pre-meal hangout, until everyone eats dinner together.
After dinner, the host is likely to have the energy they need to engage with all their lovely guests. And, since the prep work for dinner was shared, their guests shouldn't be too burned out, either. Wink wink.
Queer date ideas, valentine's day, overall food tips, alc mention
Generally, for food, opt for things that won't tire either of you. Frozen lasagnas, grocery store deli options, microwave veggies, boxed pasta dinners, whatever is simple to make, but tasty. It's a good excuse to try something you've both been curious about, but I wouldn't take any big food risks without a solid backup plan.
The goal here is to minimize labor/stress so that everyone has energy for a little more quality time. So go ahead, take a shortcut or two on dinner if you'd like, and direct that energy towards your time together, instead.
Drinks-wise, a bottle of wine can be a bit much for two people, but a can of it has enough for a bit more than two glasses, and is usually less expensive. I also like to use the mini boxes of wine (they hold about 250 ml?) as a decent and inexpensive choice. They also fit in the fridge better when chilling.
