starless @starless@pixie.town

Hi fedi!

Sometimes, friends or lovers want pretty underthings that are sized for trans bodies. Often, finding these things is a painful process. There's a lot of really crap sites that come up in search engines and, as someone who doesn't get squicked that same way, it's a way I can help.

This isn't a list of any particular merit, it's just the resources I'm aware of. I've bought from most, but not all, of the companies listed here and have been reasonably happy with the results.

Have a resource thread, boots and (well-labeled) additions welcome:

#trans #undies

@socketwench I feel you. My first, like, post-vaccination trip is gonna be to a shopping mall with my beau to buy them girly hair things.

It's not, like, stuff we can't live without, but at the same time, it's important.

@cynthia@mstdn.social yeah, ugh.

It's important to recognize that when people say "it's easier" they mean "it's accessible to non-technologists".

It sounds like you already know people that need platform help, what kinds of support do you think you/they would need to transition to jitsi instead?

@haskal I love that season. Also v close to finals on colder regions.

My friends and I used to have an unofficial 'bishi festival' in which all men (or masc-presenting or amab or whatever) friends would pose under the apple blossoms and we'd take their pictures, like, in a very serious/glamorous way, and celebrate masculine beauty. We were all pretty stressed because finals, but it was a wonderfully fun tradition.

I cannot recommend this enough. Women/femmes get made to feel pretty often, but other folks rarely do. It's beautiful and subversive and is one of my favorite uni memories. Make a sign, sit by a tree, change the world a little? A perfect afternoon for me.

I've often thought about trying to organize something like this again, outside of uni, but it just hasn't happened yet. Enjoy the flowers.~ 🌸💮🌺

Remember: the issue at hand, today, is making a trip to the grocery store (or whatever) as safe for a black teenager as it is for a white teenager. Do I want more than that from the world? Of course. But, right now, things are *bad*. As white people, we don't get to say "we don't want incremental improvements today, we'll wait for perfect justice tomorrow". We don't get to say that because it's not our bodies that pay the price of that idealistic delay. For black people, incremental justice today can change whether or not their sister dies next week, or whether or not a father's PTSD leads to something tragic. For white people, incremental justice today means you still need to think about race, but you tell yourself that in the perfect future, you won't. That's the trade-- you get that perfect future so you can ignore this problem as early as possible. Black people keep dying until your gamble pays off, if it ever does, and you might win the absolution from your guilt.

Fuck that. Get over your guilt and help build something better today. There was a big, bad crime that lasted for many generations. It'll take many generations to heal from it. More than your lifetime, more than mine. And you've got to become at least a little okay with that, because the slow work to build a more just community is the right thing to do. Keep that rebellion in your heart. Cherish that fire. Let it drive you, don't let that fire escape you entirely. Make it power art and dreams and essays. Make it power poetry readings and meetups and community listening. Make radical stuff, but make approachable, friendly stuff, too. Let your fire fuel justice instead of gambling it on destroying a community in the hopes that the ruins aren't paved over by some billionaire.

Yesterday, at Floyd Square, a black woman challenged white supremacists to come down and stand between black people and cops who'd kill them. To help stop the killing and coralling and tragedies borne on black and brown bodies because they are people, even if it's not from a place of total equality. Now, I'm not saying that you should be friends with racists or that you should listen to them or even give them your full name and address. But, if one black woman is willing to reach out to someone who thinks she will never be as smart or as capable or as important-- someone who will never truly value her-- if she can deal with someone who judges her because of who she is, then you can deal politely with a moderate for a couple of days to get some city ordinance or other amended, too. You can organize an outdoor forum. You can talk with your apologist brother-in-law in a way he might actually listen.

Your own politics are unique and always will be. The hope is for a future in which its safe to be non-white, not for a world where we all agree with you. Have faith in yourself that you can have ideals that don't vanish if you talk with someone who believes something else.

Justice will be imperfect for a long time. And that's okay. Never forget it is imperfect, never stop pushing for better, but more importantly, never turn down an opportunity for progress. That's just not a call white people get to make. Get over your guilt, but never let go of that dream. Have faith that your fire, burning for justice, will still be there in a few years and start making some longer term plans for it.