Maya Kлenger and Suvi!!! @maya_silver_fox@pixie.town

sometimes I want to feel like an asshole, but I don't like being an asshole to (almost) anyone (but it's mostly political), so I have a smoke a from cruella-de-vil cigarette holder with a smug face

Am I the only one who can’t tell which scars come from self-harm, which come from my cat using me as a living scratching toy, and which come from obsessively trying to shave every hair on my body with a really bad razor?

Me, graduating top of my class in statistics and stochastics: I’m going to write an algorithm which can predict everything in the next 100 years
Me, at work: smashes random barely working models into existence, until I am very tired and choose whatever is “good enough” in my opinion

Aaaaaa, this meme is so true about non-human (and sometimes human) depictions in media, especially art and cartoons. Like can you just not do that?

Btw about cat pics, while I am away, Emma stays with my friends and destroys all toys they give her

meow
I don’t know what to do in the hospital so I took a selfie. Also I am lonely so I harass people in chats sometimes with memes, cute stuff and cat pics. Asked the doctors to stop giving me that much sleeping meds, because at this point I am literally hibernating. I want to meet people and do some activiiiiiiiissssssmmmmmm

I don’t know what they give me every night for sleeping medicine, but it makes me sleep like 18-20 hours a day. I had insomnia before being admitted, but this is an overkill

After some sleeping though, I returned to my previous insectophobic self. But I think this is still a very serious breakthrough. I need to explore myself more.

Yesterday however, with some help, I fully immersed myself with an idea that I am an insect queen. Like went into totally different state of mind. This felt extremely weird, but instead of trembling and having extreme anxiety I actually spent hours admiring locusts, butterflies, bugs, mantises, bees, wasps and other insects; watched some videos on how insects actually work. This was very weird but also very satisfying.

I felt familiarity and connection to the insect world. Something I could never feel outside this state of mind, being rather extremely phobic.

To cope with this I sometimes imagined myself as an insect queen - the locusts chose me rather than just swarmed. Also recently I decided to try to create an insectoid character for a tabletop RPG I plan to play. This helped me a bit, but not fully.