instead of trying to continue to appear "strong" and push my emotions away and bottle everything up i now dress cutely, try to let my emotions show, be weird freely, and essentially become soft and cuddly and cutesy. Surrounded by calming pastels, cuddling my favorite plushies, feeling very loved by my partners, getting excited over the simplest things, looking at the world through eyes of revolutionary wonder and amazement, as if everything was full of posibillity. and if that means i dress a little weird in some ways and act a bit odd then so be it. Awawawa.