junø @juno@pixie.town

First a summary, jump to the bottom for action steps

In recent days, folks such as @ErickaSimone, @KimCrayton1, @timnitGebru (lmk if you want to be untagged from this post) and many, MANY more have been speaking out about how toxic fedi culture is for Black folks and how the tools we have access to just aren't enough.

In response, we've been seeing an outpouring of antiblack harassment directed towards them and others from a wide range of instances on the fediverse. This is nothing new, although it has meant a lot of extra work for mod teams who are trying to keep their users safe from this harassment.

This always happens when Black folks, particularly Black women and Black queers, speak up about their experience on the fediverse and Mastodon specifically. They get met with straight up denial, minimization, victim blaming, you name it.

After @are0h spoke up about how the team at Mastodon does not prioritize safety and someone offered to contribute $10k per year and fundraise more specifically for safety features, here was a response from one of the official team members at Mastodon:

https://oisaur.com/@renchap/112879553557675787

It's clear what their priorities ARE and ARE NOT. They know what it's like for Black folks on here, and it's just not that big of a problem for them. Suggestions and offers for assistance are ignored and urgency is met with admonishments for patience. Clearly, us going to them ain't making a difference, so I won't advise we dogpile them about it (not because it would be "wrong" necessarily but obvs it won't work).

So, what can you do about it?

At this point, I am joining a growing chorus of Black folks on this platform who are seeking a better alternative. A project that takes safety seriously and builds infrastructure with the needs of oppressed folks CENTERED rather than MARGINALIZED.

We need a hard fork. And it just so happens that some folks are already hard at work cooking one up, but they can't do it alone. Along with general support, they need funding.

You can see @are0h's March blog post about it here:

https://h-i.works/2024/04/a-case-for-community.html

Or, if you prefer a simple donation link, you can go here:

https://www.gofundme.com/f/a-new-way-to-social-media

We're getting tired of playing whack-a-mole with white supremacists on the fediverse. We need something better. We need your help.

If what you've been seeing upsets you, if you are anywhere near as fed up as I am, if you want to be part of the solution rather than part of the problem, here is something simple and concrete you can do.

Thanks for reading.

I am a desirable and worthwhile presence in the lives of those I love.

Even when it's hard to believe.

Human weddings have a Best Man, but goblin weddings have a Worst Man. The idea is that even an uncouth trash-heap of a man is going to seem like a catch if he is standing next to someone even worse.

If the bridegrooms family really want the wedding to happen they will appoint their most disagreeable relative, provide him with all the intoxicants he could ever want and then some, and have him show up to the wedding drunk off his ass and smelling of turpentine.

It is considered an honor to have a Worst Man show up at your wedding, and families have been known to get offended by his absence. This doesn't mean that the Worst Man himself is a welcome presence as goblins have been known to get a bit too into their role for the sake of realism.

After the traditional speech in which the Worst Man is expected to make a pass at the bride, facetiously extolling his virtues compared to the groom he is generally expected to fade into the background, cause a scene or two to keep the party lively and then leave quietly after he's had his fill of the buffet. If his antics start wearing thin, the goblin children may be tasked to drive the Worst Man away with sticks, stones and the occasional knife.

As goblin society has grown more progressive, there's increasingly been occurrences of a Worst Lady being invited alongside or instead of a Worst Man (though having both at the same wedding is not recommended by most goblin wedding guides as they've been known to get competitive and/or romantically involved and either of those outcomes may prove disastrous for a wedding).

At lesbian ceremonies, both brides may opt to recruit a Worst Lady from their friend-group if their respective families refuse to provide one. Being appointed a Worst Lady by your friend is seldom flattering but usually taken in good spirit. There is a saying in goblin culture that lesbian weddings are two for the price of one, considering how often the Worst Ladies will opt to marry each other in a bonus ceremony.

Calling all trans and nonbinary writers writing trans and nonbinary characters, please add your books to this database so readers can find your stories more easily!

https://transenbybooks.carrd.co/

#transbooks #nonbinarybooks #WritingCommunity

holy shit!!!!! a paper on autistic burnout!!!!! among other things demonstrating that it's a real phenomenon and not the same as depression or job burnout

https://www.liebertpub.com/doi/10.1089/aut.2019.0079

⚠️ updated crowdfunding PSA ⚠️

FUN FACT: you can post your #MutualAid requests in the #Mastodon4Harris hashtag (they moved, note the number 4 isntead of "for") to make sure they'll be seen by people who, apparently, have ludicrous oodles of money to burn. also it's praxis

boosts appreciated ​​

Here’s what parenting can look like.

When I told my dad I was trans, my dad’s response was, “Oh! I can send you jewelry now!” (He was retired and made jewelry as a hobby).

Two days latter, I had a letter in the mail addressed to Joelle, the first time “Joelle” ever got mail, with a necklace in it. Later he made me this one. He told me, “I hope I got the colors right, I looked it up online.”

You don’t have to mourn a child transitioning. You can be the first to do so many affirming things.

hey fedi, asking for a friend (genuinely): can I get some affirmation that masc presenting enbies are valid and enby and that this whole perception of enbies as basically women lite sucks for everyone?

#Nonbinary folks don't owe you a particular presentation of self.

1. Androgyny is cool but not for everyone.
2. Nonbinary is not code for "weak, like woman".
3. It's okay--perhaps even good!--if you can't divine someone's gender presentation from their appearance. We have language for that.

Happy nonbinary day!

“HRT let me be present in my body and present at school. I started to make friends. I learned to play D&D!” (cheers and laughter from the crowd)

“People in power want us to feel helpless but we are so much stronger than they are and so much braver than they ever could be”

“This is what the TERFs and the Tories are afraid of. Testosterone gel. Smells like hand sanitiser and it dries clear”

UPDATE: It seems she had luck and may have a flat in a few days after all.
If does not work out after all I'll ask the people who have offered help again.

Does someone have a temporary sleeping spot
for a trans woman in #Mannheim or #Karlsruhe for 2-3 weeks?
Shorter is otherwise okay too, anything would really, really help!

A friend of mine will probably get kicked out of her flat today, she hasn't been able to find a new flat in time and isn't doing too well due to all the stress.

Der ganze Prozess "Therapieplatzsuche" ist einfach würdelos. Wieviele Hürden da vermeidbar wären, würde das Systemversagen nicht verleugnet und ignoriert werden, ist eine Frechheit. Ich will gar nicht wissen wie viele Menschen daran schon zu Grunde gegangen sind.

And if you think "but if I'm using CWs, less people are going to read my post!" – yes, that's the point. Giving people the choice.

If you take away that choice and expose them to spoilers, they're gonna mute or block you and won't read any of your posts ever again ;)

Also, you can totally use CWs to signal that your post is probably safe to read, e.g. "spoiler-free thoughts about Star Trek Prodigy 2x08", or "vague ideas about where Star Trek Prodigy season 2 could be headed after 2x08".

"To create something as a trans woman is to extend oneself beyond the carnal. As our ideas of gender shift, the creativity of trans women is making this change known and felt. As cis people at large begin to feel this shift, they are already reacting to us. We are being kept out of bathrooms, shelters, and history. A trans woman defending herself through creativity is a way to ensure the cisgender gaze no longer controls us."

https://www.nylon.com/articles/trans-muses