prolly kinda petty, ???, the struggle between wanting to be a good person and wanting revenge 

oh to be torn between Responsible Adult Brain going "dehumanization is a tactic of the fascists" and Inner Child Brain going "if they don't treat me like my gender then i won't treat them like a human" :(

it's like. y'know. these ppl cause me so much pain, and not being allowed (on a moral level, i mean, i guess?) to cultivate a solid hate against them and to also act on it does kinda hurt :(

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prolly kinda petty, ???, the struggle between wanting to be a good person and wanting revenge 

@phseiff
what speaks against cultivating some hate against them? or revenge fantasies?

prolly kinda petty, ???, the struggle between wanting to be a good person and wanting revenge 

@juno it gives me headaches and my jaw starts grinding and subsequentially hurting and i start feeling angry and stressed whenever i do it :(

prolly kinda petty, ???, the struggle between wanting to be a good person and wanting revenge 

@phseiff ah i see... anger is a difficult emotion to process. even if its an important one that protects you.

gory violence; re: prolly kinda petty, ???, the struggle between wanting to be a good person and wanting revenge 

@juno but mew
is fantasizing about punching an older woman's face with a rock until it turned into a red pulp right then and there bc she misread my gender and dwelling ob it for the rest of the day rlly important to protect myself? bc it isn't fun and i don't want it :(

gory violence; re: prolly kinda petty, ???, the struggle between wanting to be a good person and wanting revenge 

@phseiff
anger shows you where your boundaries were violated or where you where hurt. sure it can take forms that we don't like. but its still an important emotion that needs to be listened to to plan future behaviour and to channel it in a way that works for us.
my own revenge fantasies got less when i got further away from those that hurt me...

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