Hot take: part of why people believe that online discussions are always awful, is that our online communication tools lock us into specific kinds of interaction because of their technical capabilities, and we simply can't modify them to meet the needs of our social structures - and this is a problem of software design, not of "online discussions"
@bananas Ideas from malleable software (eg. https://www.inkandswitch.com/essay/malleable-software/) would be relevant here, particularly one of the articles that it links talks about this sort of thing: https://medium.com/@paulate/the-inequities-of-our-remote-gathering-tools-185f0446b0f6
@joepie91 i think i agree, but i'm not sure what doing it better looks like.