nobody ever actually says they're offended by something, what they're usually saying is "that kind of behavior should not be rewarded/should be punished" which is very different
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@wgahnagl I can't speak for others of course, but any time I've tried to communicate "I'm offended" to someone who wasn't at least vaguely leftist or in that ideological ballpark, it has basically resulted in a response of "well you should just ignore me then" and considering the case closed on their end 😐
I wonder if this can explain the "people not saying they're offended" more broadly
@joepie91 I think to most people it's like, they see taking offense to something is a personal issue, and the way to handle that personal issue is to handle it personally, but when you're saying "that behavior is unacceptable around anyone", the problem isn't you, the problem is them
like, if I offend a rich white person's sensibilities and they tell me as much, I won't really care because I don't feel like I've done anything wrong
but if someone tells me that my behavior is unacceptable because the things I said are offensive, I feel more obligation to listen to what is being said, because what is being expressed isn't "I'm feeling this way", it's a very direct "you have fucked up in the general sense"