@elilla So I try to always make issues with someone's behaviour concrete, both because of all the reasons described here, but also because it provides an opportunity for the person in question to *work on* that behaviour.

But a problem I often run into is that when I describe the behaviour, especially the more subtle forms of abusive behaviour, often those descriptions are not *recognized* by other people as being abusive and are dismissed out of hand (without even evaluating the impact they have had), and the only way to get people to pay any attention to it is to specifically call it "abusive", in that exact wording.

Do you have any thoughts/advice on this?