So, is there a patterned fabric you can use to make a shirt that is anti-optimized for modern video stream compression, such that your meetings totally bog down for all participants because everyone’s client-side code is working so hard to encode/decode the wildly demanding images of your shirt every time you shift slightly in your seat?
Asking for a friend.
long answer
@kfogel I haven't tested this with fabric specifically, but in my experience anything that looks like confetti or snow (lots of sharply-delineated blobs that are high-contrast and very small but big enough to be bigger than a pixel on screen) tends to completely wreck codec performance.
Something that imitates TV static would probably be a decent start, although I believe that more irregular patterns work better to create deliberate chaos (TV static tends to just get smoothed out).
Maybe some of those black/white camo-esque patterns where the individual blobs are very small?
(In practice it's unfortunately very likely in videoconferencing that codecs have set a maximum bitrate for individual video streams and so it'll just make your image bad, rather than making it higher bitrate and more difficult to en/decode...)
