It's a good thing to always question social norms, but... that involves more than just being contrarian - you actually need to do the work of understanding why they are what they are, and go from there.

If you're ignoring people's requests to behave in a certain way, and at the same time you claim you "don't care" to learn the reason that people are asking that, you are not being critical of social norms - you're just being a self-serving asshole.

If you've done the work, proactively looked into it, *really* understood the reason, and concluded that the reason is just a bad one (eg. upholding oppressive norms) - then by all means, ignore those social norms. But show that you've done the work first.

(This is aimed not just at outright bigots, but also at eg. activists who argue for accelerationism, those who uphold one type of oppression and justify it by claiming to fight another, etc.)