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hmmm you'd think me adding these features in minutes would convince myself I actually am a good programmer

but nah, i'll probably stay afraid to ask for money and unable to search for better clients forever

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like I don't think freelancing is good for me at all because I *hate* the clients, having to nag for hours/money etc

but also, a standard office job would be way worse because I am only productive at times...

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work 

like I *need* to go outside to think
I *need* to play a quick match of videogames I'm good at so I have dopamine to continue working

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