you ever think about how in some leftist communities, all it takes for a person to become ostracised is 1 misstep, or a personality that doesn’t quite fit into the group?
meanwhile, actually healthy, strong relationships can recover from immense injuries. having big fights, making shitty mistakes, sometimes even outright hurting each other – these are things that can be fixed if people do the work.
but in many communities that we build, we don’t give people that chance. we don’t have that expectation either. so people either cause great harm without consequence, or they get pushed out, and there’s no in between. the model isn’t “imperfect people doing their best to help each other grow” but it’s some bullshit purity contest where you’re either “in” or “out”.
i don’t think this model is all that great, tbh, maybe we should think of something better
@skye yes yes this, and europe being so big makes the cost of dropping out of a whole community so cheap compared to where i come from.
here i feel a tone of absurdity when my friends don't want to hang out because i must be like n<=3 from all of them. like: ok, i can accommodate you and avoid bringing you near this person - but only so many of them! face reality!
realize the immense cost of this.
couldn't've said it better than you
@ckie yeah, i have been noticing these effects recently. europe is big but some communities are still small