fedi meta, i am tired of posting, so please let me post, much bitching but its important
this platform is accursed. i have a thought. i'd like to post it.
- i open the webby site
- i get my brain bombarded by 3-5 other posts without even scrolling
- i TRY to remember what it was, and write it
- i need to figure out what CWs fit
- i probably can't post it if it's too controversial or triggering to someone
- i'm so, so tired of writing alt text and i've yet to know someone blind even
- with every word i write i can feel the thousand retorts e.g. "oh but im autistic and i rely on those alt texts too" well guess what its my post and im autistic too
- i read more posts i dont care about here or can do nothing to help with than just about any other platform, email or twitter or cohost are *all* better at this
- i am currently focused on the lists tab of the masto ui to not see the live post feed (even twitter has a "Show $x tweets" popup when theres more to read!!)
- i'd like to write deep posts but this community feels shallow as heck and i have 88 followers currently which is an absurd number of people to be reading my inner thoughts. pls let me post to a list and have that be more direct and separate from the big tl. fuck i might just host a mailing list for this.
- i have seen the same post 2382374 times because it shows you it again when another mutual boosts it?? come on..
- why cant i click on a hashtag and mute it
- why cant i write a filter for a single mutual
- why cant i limit the range of posts i see. i dont wanna see posts of someones friend's friend's friend's friend. [that's too many people to worry about](https://cohost.org/pervocracy/post/1514198-but-what-about-t), i cant fit them all in my heart.
- why cant i see my friends posts. no i dont care if they're on masto.social i just wanna see their posts in my client. goddamn
probably more missed
cont: retort, heavy
i do write the alt text and i do write the CWs and i don't post the way i feel about the rise of fascism or what i think im built from mentally and i guess i can also handle the posty box being tiny
but after all that shit i have no energy left here if i want to post more deeply about how i feel, to make friends with my thoughts, to let someone relate, to not worry about whether my thought has good vibes because it feels like i'll get nuked if i fuck up once because my brain decided to be mean to me and i needed to write it somewhere so my friends can know whats up. so even if that probably wont happen i cant relax and just write stream-of-thoughts and livepost.
all of these are Not A Big Deal, a Tolerable Cost but there are simply too many!! what to do??
