I miss my grandma. she'll never be back but she was the only one in my family who could've maybe helped me understand being queer. she'll never know that I grew up to become a woman. she loved me, I know she did. roommate showed me a video of this guy making goofy videos with his grandma and she told him she loved him. that just fucking broke me. I'm so much more of a person, of a real person now, after my grandma's since passed. It's been three or four years since then and I'm almost at a year now of figuring out I'm trans. I'm so fucking different now. she may have watched me grow up, but if I wanted her to see any part of my life, this would be it. this right here.