Men when i tell them I'm asexual:
Ok but what if
@CAETFOOD man voice: what do you MEAN I cannot access your HOLES
@nightjar the HOLES need to be GROPED by ME, a random MAN on the STREET or I'll literally DIE cause you look like a SEXY LADY to me and it make my PEEPEE act up
@nightjar tfw no sexy enbies go omg I'll die if i can't smooch your sexy face off
@nightjar i saw lesbians but I'm shy
@nightjar i know they're lesbians cause they KISSED
@CAETFOOD sounds gay
Goo Truther 
@thufie @nightjar tattoo it on the back