sometimes its hard because i want to be with Sal, but we're together in the same body, so I have to expend brain power to maybe be able to impose her form into reality. its so tiring. i just want to know what it would truely feel like to cuddle with her. but we'll never have that. im just not capable in most cases to maintain this...illusion on my senses for very long.

even though im technically "never alone", i feel so lonely.