hi.

i am tillian. you probably have boosted this fundraiser post in the past, wondering where i went.

well, i moved!

i finally made the jump and collected enough money to last me for months on my own. i have my own apartment, and i am now living away from my abusive parents.

i am so, so, so thankful to all of you. this plan would have never left the ground without all of your undying support.

i owe you. all of you.

thank you.

love. so much love.

#mutualaid

@PsyChuan @LexYeen @WetDogSquad @sentinian @rive @maxthefox @schratze @imtired @bananenbrot help me out a lil, mayhaps? please

i got physically assaulted by my brother yesterday and i had to go to the ambulance for several stitches. i am not safe here. please help.

wtf. someone donated 700 in one sitting. honestly thank you i have to applaud you for that

hey #MastodonForHarris, it's pretty damn clear you people have enough money to spend it on a politician. how about you also try to directly help us minorities? harris in any case can fall back on her democratic party donors, and she owns millions. we can't fall back on anything. some of the people including me under the #MutualAid hashtag are literally homeless, in abusive environments or suffer chronic diseases. so if you really care about us, could you maybe help?

YOOOO WE HALFWAY THERE LET'S FUCKING GOOOOO!!!!

i am so, so grateful for you people

#Mastodon4Harris #MastodonForHarris #MutualAid

my father threatened to beat me up and strangle me, and my mother told me if i will raise my voice next time she will physically attack me with her own hands. they, in fact, already attacked me before they said that. i am in ACTIVE, potentially LETHAL DANGER right now. i need all donations i can get ASAP.

#mutualaid #Mastodon4Harris #MastodonForHarris

i am preparing to put the evacuation plan i have been preparing all these months and collecting donations for in motion in the very near future, but i am not sure if i can hold out for long. the money will last me several months, maybe a year max, but after that i will need to find a full time job to afford living. but if i find it, i will drop out of uni and the army draft will come after me. pls help me what do i do

#mutualaid #Mastodon4Harris #MastodonForHarris

i could try working part time and asking for reduced donations to complete the needs i have to survive every month, maybe? that way i can keep both the university, stave off the army for what time do i have, while also be able to live on my own and reduce the load for donations allowing other people to receive more help. is that a good idea? and are there any others?

#mutualaid

some people asked me how does being in uni and army draft correlate: they can't sack me in while i am still a student. at least bachelor, i don't know if this applies to postgrad stuff. i have roughly two years before they begin a hunt on me.

they can't also conscript me if i turn 26 years old and never have served by that time, have illnesses prohibiting me from service, or have a family with three kids under 12, and other circumstances.

motherfuck this fucking country. motherfuck this family. motherfuck this fucking culture of abuse i grew in.

worst case scenario, i could run away to russia, but GOD, not the fucking russia. jesus not the fucking russia. it's like usa 2 except there's even less progressive freedoms and more censorship.

not to mention i am a person of color and an immigrant to them. and they can legally jail queers for "gay propaganda"

the logistics of this thing is gonna be a motherfucker. my backpack can't fit all my belongings. i will need multiple bags, and also i will have to carry my guitar, but i can't carry this much on my back. i could rent a transportation service or a taxi but that's extremely unflexible if i will need to bail and run or leave stealthily.

technically i could rent the place in advance and carry out my stuff bag by bag slowly but surely but i have to do it quickly before they notice what i am trying to pull under their noses

i am trying to not to cry right now because without all of you and my friends and my partners i met on here i wouldn't have made it this far. i don't know how to thank all of you enough, but i hope one day i will be able to

you people are doing miracles. thank you so much.

they also wanted to pressure my cousin into firing me off the job since she has ties and works there, by the way. i don't know if i mentioned that here.

i talked to her in secret about this. told her to zip it and not tell anybody, not even closest people, without my consent. her family beat her too. my mother's sisters abused her. it's a fucking net of violence at this point.

if the worst push comes to shove, i have ways to defend myself, but i hope it won't come down to this. god i hope it won't. cops rarely favor people who have to defend themselves against violence like this.

you know, in all this panic i even forgot to mention that my parents mocked the idea of me trying to stand up or being outspoken about queer rights. as well as me being queer and happy in general. they regard it as either frivolous, worthy of contempt and pretentious, or something that only whiny and naive people do

so apparently some people started being skeptical of me asking for money. "why do you need so much?", they ask.

i need to remind yall that this is not a single sum, it's a stockpile. it's a financial safety net that's intended to keep me fed and safe for a year while i am looking for a more stable job.

let me explain. (1/3)

average cost of living for one person in a one room apartment in Almaty varies per district and individual needs, but it's around $1000-1100. half of that goes to the rent, the rest goes for food, medical supplies, clothing, transportation, mobile services and other things.

as someone who is marginalized several times over, and also a student, my capability of having a full time job is limited. (2/3)

and if you had been living on this green space rock for quite some time, you have to know that finding or keeping a job is something that is EXTREMELY unpredictable. especially if you have ADHD like me. some people look for employment for months. i want to be ready for any emergency.

in any case, if i find out i have money i no longer need, i will redistribute it to other mutual aid posts, or send it back.

(3/3)

i ordered a few heavy duty moving bags so i can fit all of my stuff in. they'll arrive in three hours. i hope they'll be enough. i also have a suitcase and two backpacks.

technically, i soon will be set for moving away from my family once and for all, but i am afraid of taking this step of no turning back. not because i think i will be safer with them, but because i don't know how they will react once i am no longer around them.

i have bad news.

they fucking lied on the delivery job. the pay is threefold smaller than what was promised. i have no idea how i am going to make it even if we combine it with other income, assuming i spend all my free time possible delivering shit.

i don't know if i can survive this long-term.

oh god. is that it? is that how i will die?

i really don't know what to do. i am trying to think but. nothing's looking up.

if it fails, well. i just will refund all donations. i am sorry. i don't know what to do.

i just think that if i can't survive this, if i can't survive longer than just a year, then it would be better for me to just return the money if i am already a lost cause. i am sorry. i hope i am wrong but if i am not i will just give it to those who have a better chance at survival than i do

i could buy a bike and maybe try delivering this way, since they pay more for people who do delivery on bicycles. that still wouldn't be enough to make a living on its own, but.