Just gonna reiterate that despite being an openly queer woman with large reach on fedi I'm having a great time. I don't know why my experience is different from some other highly visible people in that way. I wish I did, because that might mean there's some kind of solution to their problems on here
In fact fedi is the happiest I've felt about social media pretty much ever *and* fedi was instrumental in helping to make our queer game launch a success
The best advice I have for people with a large following on fedi who are having a bad time is to maybe find a smaller instance with a more engaged moderation team (and authorized fetch) and move there. I have never had to play whack-a-mole with bad instances because the mod team on my instance yeets them into the void long before I would ever interact with them