Something I've learned over the past few years: when dealing with marginalization aimed at you, it's often so much more effective to simply specify expectations and demand things, rather than trying to request things or appeal to understanding.
Requires much less energy, and is much more likely to be successful. Despite the complaints and claims to the contrary.
Is this a good thing? No, but it's a reflection of how a lot of social dynamics currently work. And it shouldn't constantly be marginalized folks paying the price of trying to change that.
A related thing I've learned: even if I personally choose to put a lot of effort into adapting to things like neurotypical communication, that doesn't make it acceptable for people to *demand* of me that I do so. It should be by my own choice.