@craige forgejo is among the easiest softwares to self-host.
But even then, IMO everyone hosting thier own, which stays on 24/7, its not reasonable.
I do this, but I've been working for almost my entire life to get to this point where I can do it and it's not a burden on me.
I think community hosting is the best, most realistic solution. Basically the same as the fediverse, approx. one admin per 100 users.
So you may not have to host it yourself or go to a centralized alternative like codeberg; The third option is to find a community that suits you and already does this kind of thing.