good morning. i was just publicly owned by a child on a bicycle

so for the past several weeks i’ve been trying to solve a conundrum ive been facing. on sunday mornings i want to run to my favorite cafe for a coffee then skateboard back to my apartment to cook breakfast. but how do i run with my skateboard? i’ve tried holding it (tore up my hands), tying it to the inside of a backpack, no dice. today i thought i had solved the riddle

we bought a set of heavy duty industrial gloves for protesting, which would protect my skateboard-holding hand while i ran. perfect solution. i strap on my one glove, grab my skateboard, and make my way to the bike path to the coffee shop. my mistake was skateboarding down the ramp to the path which allowed this child to besiege and defeat me within seconds

so i skate down the ramp super loud. i hit the bottom turn around and the child is there instantly staring daggers into my soul. this child has a child’s bike and no fear. he looks dead at me and goes “Do you wanna race.”

instantly i know that 1) i am absolutely not going to race this child on my skateboard, but also that 2) this child is going to watch me not only back down from his challenge, but then pick up my skateboard with my one gloved hand and physically run away

at this point my anxiety is screaming so i open my mouth to reply and what comes out is “no thanks but i appreciate it” (????). i calmly walk for like 10 seconds to make it seem like these two actions were not related and then i picked up my skateboard and ran away from the child