i hate the "you are not $x. you are not $y." format
first, i get to decide what i am. stop telling me.
and second, if i agree with you, i'm going to feel shit because saying that makes me consider "but what if i *am* $x and $y and i'm terrible" even if they're things i'm not

please JUST STOP doing it. its SO bad. pleeeeeeaseeee